Okay I said I wasn’t going to come back to this site but here I am. You ppl seem to be the only ones to understand. I’m in my early 30s and very alone. It sucks so bad but at the same time I push people away. I have these anxiety attacks and deal with depression so it embarresses me to be around anyone but at the same time I can’t handle being alone. I kno makes no sence at all. Its just like now… I lost 3 people just yesterday. Crazy weekend… had the police tracing my fone b.c. I was open to a friend that I had bought the stuff for helium hood and was going to do it. I did try it but it didn’t work, I’m assumming when I put the bag over my head oxygen got in. And yes ill admit the second time I tried it I freaked out. But people knew about this and had a couple people state I was in it for the attention which hurt me real bad. Then my Pastor the only one I look to has completely pulled away from me so I’m sure he feels the same way. I have been suicidal for a big part of my life but not like I was this past weekend and after I was told I was seeking attention that’s honestly what pushed me to put the freaking exit bag with helium over my head. Why does people think that or like to judge us or they don’t even try to understand. I really want an answer for my life. I really want out of this… I want happiness joy and peace more than anything… I promise I do!!!!!
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Happiness joy and peace are all inside jobs, no one else can be responsible for these things in others.
Try volunteering at a homless shelter food line, or donate some time at a local hospital.
Helping others always brings some degree of peace, joy, and serenity.
It does make sense what you’re saying there.To me it sure does
I feel the same way I wish everybody could just accept everyone else for who they are
Caucajun… I do… I’m a big sister for the big bro big sis program going on 5 yrs and I work at a nursing home as a c.n.a. I also donate blood as often as I can. I feel as if I do those things. I’m also very religious which honestly helps me a lot. You kno how people cut to relieve pain? I go to the House of God and being in His presence relieves the pain everytime… but its those days especially Saturdays (which most families consider “family day”) that’s the worst b.c. I have no family. Yea I have a mom, dad, and siblings… but we don’t speak then I don’t have a husband or children, but if I only had friends it would help, but I don’t have those either… my problem I extreme lonliness… very painful.
Btw my little and I get together every wk which helps but only for that day which is thursdays rite now