Not being able to meet their expectations is taking it’s toll on me. I do the daily grind, day-in and day-out, doing everything I can for them, yet I feel like it’s never enough. I’m doing my hardest to live for others to take my mind off these suicidal thoughts, but I feel like it’s only making it worse.
28, married, with 2 kids, a stable job with a corner office — yet I feel no different from 10 years ago during my first suicide attempt.
My parents still don’t recognize my efforts, my husband is apathetic to my struggle, and my kids brush me off when I try to engage them. Yes, I’m socially awkward, and I’m doing my best to fix it. Why does the world continue to deny me, even when I put my best foot forward?
Everyday I wonder if it will even make a difference if I’m here or not. The sun will still rise, tomorrow will still come, and the world will continue to move on even when I’m gone. Why even bother with all this pain and suffering?
1 comment
as someone who grew up without a mother, i can say you at least matter to your kids, whether they appreciate you right now or not. absence hurts