The numbness is back. It’s getting worse. Ever since the only thing that made me happy, has gone. She made it go away. She made me forget it. Now it’s back when she’s gone. I felt numb when I thought she was gone for good… I should’ve been sad, but no, I felt numb. So now I know my numbness is going to be with me forever, even in the moment where I should’ve felt the sadest I’ve been, I felt numb. I can’t shake it off. I just can’t. It’s returning. This is the feeling that makes people want to die. I FUCKING HATE NUMBNESS!!!! I want to cry my eyes out, I want to feel sad, ANYTHING, just not this nothingness. I feel so dead. It wouldn’t make a difference if I just stopped breathing. I’d still be as dead.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
3 comments
Sometimes people feel numb because it’s a defense mechanism, not something you can always controll, to protect you from that hurt. It may take time and feel like chaos in your head but things can change and although it may not seem like it at the moment I believe your numbness can leave.
Yes but it’s been building up over years. I know it’s there to block out the pain, but it blocks everything else out too. If I end up having my love back then maybe it will go away slightly, but I don’t think it could ever go fully. I don’t think it can leave. I’m not just saying that because I’m depressed, I genuinely think it can’t leave. My problems aren’t going away, and my numbness won’t. I’ll always have a family that hates me (it’s actually getting worse with them), I’ll always be socially rejected, I’ll always be cut down when I have a chance of hope, so I’ll always have it. It’s meant to help but doesn’t. Not everyone can cope with it. I know meds are meant to numb you, but that’s what causes most prion with meds to go, that it makes them worse!!
Medication isn’t meant to numb you. Antidepressants cause a specific chemical change in your brain, with some evidence that this change will lift your mood. If you have a doc who is just giving you meds to numb you, find a new doc. Tell him/her about the numbness first; he/she may change your meds. But they aren’t supposed to make you numb.