The playlists abounded, the only things left besides the journals upon journals, notepads chock-full
Taken from Robert Crumb’s Plunge Into The Depths Of Despair (1983)
And if […]
Miguel De Unamuno – An Eternal Elegy
Oh Time, Time,
relentless tyrant!
Oh terrible mystery!
The past does not return,
it never comes back again,
ancient history!
Yes, ancient, but always the same,
terrifying!
Always present…
. . . . . . . . . . . .
When consciousness is deprived
of the passage of time,
what is it that remains?
What happens to light if the mirror is broken?
. . . . . . . . . . . .
Fierce Saturn,
oh […]
This poem is based on the ancient Greek epic poem Odyssey, which is attributed to the legendary author Homer. Quick summary of the Odyssey: there was a war between the ancient Greeks and the Trojans (Troy was – and still is – located at nowadays North-western Turkey), the Greeks laid siege on the city of Troy for 10 years and they destroyed it (there’s another ancient epic poem, Aeneid by the Roman author Virgil, that picks up the story after the destruction of Troy, but let’s stick to Homer’s Odyssey for now). After that, one of the Greek kings named Odysseus (in Latin: Ulysses) set out for Ithaka, his […]
Vincent Willem van Gogh – July 29, 1890
https://www.vincentvangogh.org
http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0612.htm
http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0779.htm
Wouldn’t it be better if everyone of us could live in his/her own unique madness?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7YEVP4r2ok
Lyrics:
Leave the madman in his madness
And don’t try to bring him to his senses
You don’t know what is hidden
Inside the mind of a madman
–
He might find in his madness
Everything he has desired
And wasn’t able
To see and to obtain
–
Leave the madman in his madness
Leave him in his dream
He’s been sick and tired of this world
And he created one of his own
Will the doors of our perception ever be cleansed?
”Only optimists commit suicide, optimists who no longer succeed at being optimists. The others, having no reason to live, why would they have any to die?”
Emil Cioran
I woke up this morning,went to the kitchen and made a coffee.I sat in front of my pc and I started watching videos on youtube,smoking and trying to kill time.Most of the time I wasn’t paying any attention to these videos.I was thinking.Thinking about my life and the world.
I spent most of my life in this empty house (I’ve been living here since I left my parents’ house when I was 20 years old).Alone.I haven’t got any purpose or any goals to reach.I’ve saved some money,so I don’t have to work for now.But I know that I’ll have to find a job.Working is a nightmare.I […]
When our bodies and minds have withered away, what will be left of us in this world?
I have no children, and it does not seem likely this will ever happen. I will not be leaving behind a biological legacy. I am okay with that I guess.
But I am not okay with the fact that I have no one. I have not a single person who truly cares about me, so when I am gone, I am gone. Good riddance to me. I am but a vague memory to some. And to others, a nuisance in my existence. My life has no impact on anyone. My […]
I’m nearly 30 years old. I’m in a long-term relationship with a live-in partner. We live in an apartment in a house. I work from home and because of this I basically work 24/7. My partner works as a delivery man but only works about 5 hours a day. His hand is broken from punching a wall when he was angry. He uses his broken hand as his newest excuse to be lazy.
There’s a lot of resentment. He spends most of his money on marijuana. This is a daily occurrence. Any attempt to discuss this issue is met with fighting, me being to blame […]
Since childhood I have had visions of a stark pale luminous form, floating amongst ravens in the aether. I slit my wrists (the right way) the daemons that have plagued me, pain, desire, fear, anxiety begin to evaporate, I hear the crows. Inhaling the mist off the hot water teeming upon me from the shower nozzle (ensuring my body is found clean) my skin has taken on an ivory palour, eyes bright blue in contrast, lips purple and tingling, I watch as the slow, heavy, crimson rivulets curl down my arms to the ceramic than quicken and lighten to a pale pink, diluted, […]
Everyone makes painful, frustrating, aggravating experiences. But the question is – are there also some wonderful experiences to look forward to, that make it worth to put up with the bad ones? You can’t define the value of either experiences by logic (neither positive, nor negative). Perhaps, it’s even not possible to describe them in such a way, that people, who didn’t experience them, truly understand them. I believe, the most powerful positive experiences are built upon the feeling of affinity, belonging to this world. It’s not […]
I have never attempted suicide before and probably will never do that in the future, although I am suicidal. The depressing thought cannot get out of my head. Only watching people who are also suicidal can make me feel much better, because I tend to dispassionately analyze their feelings and so I become an observer rather than a sufferer.
There’s no point to live, but there’s no point to die either, from my perspective. That’s why I’m still alive. There’s no point to do anything. Suicide is such a luxury, an aggregation of  courage, ego, curiosity, perseverance, nonchalance about collective unconsciousness, motivation, liberation, freedom of self-expression, […]
I prefer not to dream. There is a peace in the dreamless oblivion that doesn’t compare to anything in the waking world. I don’t have to live, to breathe, to think, or even to be. I don’t have to do anything within the oblivion. It’s a pure nothingness. When I wake, that’s when the reasons for leaving become very clear.
To wake without prospect, without hope, where you have to struggle with even one reason to get out of bed and go about the day–it’s a living nightmare. To have nothing to look forward. To know that THIS day will be exactly the same as the […]
I don’t know who I am any more. I don’t know where the little girl who always had an ice-cream cone in her hand went. I don’t know how somebody could possibly feel so isolated and empty inside. I don’t know how somebody can possibly hurt this bad. I don’t how I can smile and laugh all day and be hollow inside and then come home and cry my soul out. Nothing makes sense. I’m dying. I’m relapsing. I’m fading. Have you ever just sat at home with a cup of tea and sad music and slowly forgot how to feel? This is madness, this is […]
Clash into dust into ash into lust
with another ways dream and another mans dean
without a word suffer with a counter cost cutter
with no aspiration inside this temptation
into but oblivion with bottles of insidium
quite opposite the transaction
of dying plaster reaction
into nothingness evolve with a starlit twice revolved
SORRY ABOUT ALL OF THE POEMS ITS HOW I EXPRESS MYSELF
This is the first time I’ve ever publically posted/said that I am in as much pain as I am. I’ve hidden it for years, even when I was a young teen. When I was little I thought everybody had bad days like mine: times when the world looked grey, when even speaking was difficult, when my soul felt sucked from me. I’m too afraid to truly come out and tell anyone around me how I really feel. They’ll all just say “Just put on a smile and look on the bright side” or “It’ll be okay, just buck up”. Can’t anyone see that I can’t […]
I hate Life. I hate living. I have lived for so ling and i have yet to find someone that wasn’t “Living the life of kings” Or worshiping the devil with fucing YCMB or whatever those fucking dumbasses call it. Secretly i hunger to find someone like me. Not into those kinds of shit. Anti social, easy to talk to.. Someone i can hug when we both feel sad and want to kill ourselves. Im not sure if this person even exists.. Every girl goes for the alpha these day and not beta fucks like me.. Just today i went to the super marked and […]
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