I realised something.. I’m nobody’s favoroute anything, nobodys favoroute friend, child, person to talk to, person to hang out with.. Anybodys favoroute nothing! I’m the kid in the house that my parents don’t have to worry about, I get good grades, I stay out of trouble, I do what they tell me to do..But the thing is, they start to not only not worry, but not care..
I’ve been depressed for 4 years, they’ve never noticed..
Silent Screams is so appropriate because i don’t want people to feel sorry for me or know what i’m going through.. Most nights lately usually ends with me crying myself to sleep. My dad tries really hard to build a relationship with my brother.. My brother has alot of anger problems, every conversation with him turns into a fight. So I guess that leaves me with my mom right? Well not so much…
My mom doesn’t really care about the small sentimental things, she gave my mothersday gift one look, pushed it aside, and never looked at it again, beacuse it wasn’t expensive, another gift i gave her she gave to our dog to eat… i spent most of my holiday money to buy her a christmas ring which she wore once.
I’m honestly at a point that i don’t even feel like trying anymore! IÂ was in the top 10 in my grade and my school is the top 2 school in our city.. my dad didnt come to the awards event again, and my mom only wanted to take a picture with me and my friend because she looooves my friend.
It hurts really bad to think they just don’t give a damn.. that no one gives a damn anymore.