Too Much

I want to die soon. I was born with Cerebral Palsy and suffered all the usual torment from other kids when I was growing up. I struggled to get a job but never gave up. I managed to live a fairly “normal” life. Girls were happy to ride in my boat or on my bike or get a lift in my car – but date? Never! I finally found a desperate woman and married, had two kids who she abused (along with abusing me) and eventually I left her. I had a good job, had respect, self-esteem and was happy to start again. Now at 57 I have been alone for 15 years, my kids only call me when they want something, my employer is doing their level best to get rid of me after I filed a harassment complaint related to my disability and I am in constant physical and emotional pain – too lonely to care anymore. I am on pain medication that is powerful stuff but it doesn’t really work on the physical pain I suffer post back and neck surgery. No-one understands and this existence is not life. It’s not how life is supposed to be either. I don’t believe that I want to grow old lonely, crippled and in pain with no-one who gives a rats about me. I’m going but maybe one of my kids will read this if they go looking. A person can only take so much…. Nothing left to say!