idk what to do. i can have someone pick me up and leave but my mom said then ill get kicked out which means no college. which mean my future is over. i would leave but now im not even welcomed at the one house i consider my 2nd house. they all hate me. my family hates me and my 2nd family does too. i cant breathe. i cant think i just dont want to be here anymore. i guess ive officially broke. i would go buy some pills at the store but i feel sick. i havent eaten anything really in 2 days and if i walked there i would probs pass out in the street. idk maybe ill just go so i can get out of the house and clear my head and buy some razors… fuck it.
17 comments
why do they hate you?
my mom found weed and cigs in my bag. she knows i smoke both so she said i cant go to this concert tomorrow that i paid money to go to already and that ive been looking forward to go to for months. she said if i go or leave i have to move out and she wasnt paying for college. my dad already told me he wasnt going to help at all. im forced inside this hell hole to be screamed at or else i wont be able to leave in a month and my future is shit. even if i did leave the one place i would go and be happy there they dont want me. my friends dad found out about the weed and now im not allowed in the house. i think of that family as a 2nd family. im just done. and i dont feel good and i just dont want to be here or anywhere…
And the cannabis laws strike again!
I have a feeling they wouldn’t be freaking out if it wasn’t illegal. It shouldn’t be illegal, and the only reasons for it being so, are illegitimate and fabricated reasons. Adults in this day and age, have had copious opportunities to learn the truth and do something about it… and yet, there are still grown people who think it’s “the devil,” or think that you’ll somehow end up “strung out on heroin” if you enjoy smoking cannabis. This is like infini-facepalm territory. There are not enough facepalms in all of eternity, to account for such outrageous treatment of cannabis enthusiasts!
However: ask yourself if you’d rather be grounded at home, or in jail?
If you were to get caught with an illegal substance in public, you might end up locked up… which might (probably will) cause problems for your future. I mean, unless you’re in colorado or washington or something, but still.
If it was my kid, i’d be like “i don’t want you getting caught with this and ending up in jail, or worse, so you’re only allowed to do it at home, in this safe and familiar environment with minimal risk.”
At least, i tell myself that. I might turn into hitler-dad if i actually had kids. I don’t trust the rest of the world much, so i’d probably have anxiety about my offspring interacting with random, untrustworthy people, unsupervised.
my mom is the opposite. she says i can smoke or do whatever just not at home. she was mad i just had it in her house and she needed a dog to kick so she let all of her pent up frustration on me. Idk im just having alot of trouble and trying to get my shit straight and it dosent help her being a pycho and trying to control me and get her way its fucked up. i ended up getting tripple c’s. i tried to stop with pills but since my mom threw out my weed i went to the “legal” option of doing pills which is 10 times more fucked up. so im just done.
:c im sorry..
you shouldnt be.
Ah but i am :c i texted you if you have your phone and feel loke you want to talk or just talk about the weather or something. You know fun shit.
You don’t need your family to get into college. You don’t need college to have a future. You don’t need your family to have a future. Anyone who tells you that you do is trying to trap you into codependency and make you believe it’s your fault. If you can, leave.
You don’t need family to get into college BUT it helps of they pay some of it ya know…cuz student loans can cripple you financially for a few years. College isnt the only future but its a good experience in life and hey, get a degree in something you enjoy :3
my mom turned my phone off… and true but i do need her to pay for my college. im just going to \try and be fucked up as much as possible at home so i dont get in a fight with her…
Gmail? :c
You don’t need her to pay for your college. There are other means of accomplishing that without her help.
@lorax:
i liked your first comment, but i’m struggling with this one part:
“You don’t need college to have a future.”
While i realize that is technically true… the disparity between the wildly different possible non-college futures, is quite significant.
Anyone who wakes up tomorrow “has a future.” It just might not meet their minimum acceptable quality of life requirements.
I can’t help but be curious about the reasoning behind that seemingly confident statement. I also realize it’s possible you were referring to the same “slim chance” which requires me to say that it’s “technically possible” to do well without college.
“Having a future” and “having an acceptable future,” are two very different things.
I can’t help but “flash back” to a few critical moments in my past, and think “if i had known /this/ was the future i’d have, i would have preferred to die then.”
I’m very interested in discovering effective methods of having an acceptable quality of life, without going to college (if such things exist)… and/or ways to pay for it, without familial help.
I have some rather outlandish ideas of my own, but the “learning curve” is… discouraging.
I’ve been asking people i meet about these types of things for most of my life. No one ever has a real answer. They just start talking ambiguously and being evasively vague. It’s possible that i never encountered anyone who knew wtf they were talking about.
What is a future? I think having a life you can enjoy and be proud of is more important than making a lot of money. It’s about values. I don’t think college is necessary for a future because a lot of the time, college simply leads to debt. That’s acceptable because the amount of income they might make after college is enough to offset the debt, but there is no certainty in life. One may very well start a business for themselves, or get into a management position within an existing company, and make just as much as they would with a college degree on the basis of experience alone. It’s about values and seeing that popular conventions are not necessary true, in and of themselves.
I don’t think an acceptable future is possible without owning a house and having, among other things, a retirement fund.
Ideally, i’m “the last person to say” that money is the most important thing. But what i have learned in life is that all the experiences i find most valuable, are, in fact, not free. Taking care of myself is not free. Transportation is not free. Being “worthy of finding a companion” is not free, because i’m not one of those physically-gifted types, and unless your intelligence can make you plenty of money, then it doesn’t matter… at all, really.
College does seem inherently, deceptively, arbitrary and excessive. It’s a lot of time and money spent on things that aren’t really necessary, but which are required to obtain an official document of completion status, which you wave in front of the gatekeepers to gain “gainful” employment.
But without that document, how might one bypass the experience paradox? How do you get experience, without having prior experience? I suppose that’s what internships are about… but that’s a lot of free work to do to gain admittance to an entry level position, after spending that much time, effort, and money, on a “qualified” document.
Ultimately, most people don’t get to have the special experiences that life is supposed to be all about, which make life “worth living,” if they are broke, or cannot make more money than they actually need.
Future sucks if lacking money. Future sucks of lacking lots of other things, most of which can be solved with money, if not by other means.
However: college doesn’t mean you’ll know what you need to know, to earn “enough” to have a minimally acceptable or better quality of life, in the future.
What i find is that no one is actually teaching “how to make as much money as possible.” Because then everyone would want to do that, and the people already doing it, might lose their edge. Or, the people already doing that, have already established dominance in a way that doesn’t really allow much competition.
Another thing i find is that much of what is taken for granted as “true,” is often still true, but for very different reasons than most seem to realize.
It might seem like it, but i’m not saying you’re wrong.
I don’t think you need college, as per say. If you’re bright enough and have the right motivation and desire to go far and do well.. I think you can probably do without, given that someone gives you a chance because essentially, most of what you learn in your discipline or whatever will be from the practice and experience you gain after college. Whereas college just builds the foundation for this by teaching you the basic knowledge you need.. and a degree shouldn’t be a means of judging whether someone is adequate or not.. although in the real world, this is often the case.
Maybe if you start off small.. just look into the things taught at college at your own pace, try and get a few connections into industry, start off as a minor.. and try to climb the ladder from there. I know for a fact, that some of the people who do the least well in college also find it hard to find a job, etc, etc.. and end up being more successful in terms of their career, than most other people.
This probably doesn’t help you, given you’ve probably spend a lot of time thinking about this and talking to other people. But I guess it was worth a shot (:
When asked about Uni, most people look back with fond memories. You get to meet lots of cool people and do fun stuff. You develop as a person.
Employers get thousands of CV’s. You’ve got little chance of getting a decent job without a good degree because of the competition.
If you would like a career in a recognised profession law, medicine, veterinary science etc, a qualification is a prerequisite. Doing those jobs can be rewarding too.
Many entrepreneurs left school without any qualifications. You have to be realistic.
Does getting qualifications prevent you pursuing your dreams?
Greg Graffin from Bad Religion has a PhD in Zoology. Brian May – Astrophysics. Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden is also an airline pilot . These are educated people that made sure they had something to fall back on.
Why shouldn’t Sunflower take advantagr opportunity to experience what she will look back on as the best time of her life.