I HATE MY LIFE AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

Here is my life story and why i want to kill myself.
when i was born i was dropped on my head by my crackhead mother and then because of it couldnt talk right but could still think the same according to the doctors. In my middle school years people started to make fun of me because of that and felt as if there is nothing else to do.
so luckily somebody introduced me to a little plant called weed and i could never get off of it and after a while of smoking that i got bored and started on the acid and coke. And from there i went suicidal and wanted to kill myself everysecond that i wasnt on coke. and by the time i was 18 i ran out of money so i stole from my grandmother which i feel really bad about but i felt as if i didnt i would have died. so i kept stealing until i was finally cut off of money from my grandmother. So i robbed gas stations and shoplifted from there and bought my new drug meth. Yep crank because it was so cheap and it lasted so long was my last resort. Later on in my life i killed my mother for putting me in this poisition. At the time i didnt know how old i was or where i was all i remebered was that when i killed her i ran. I JUST RAN forever it felt like. I stole her coke and smoked that all and then when i woke up from my little nap i woke up in a prison in austin texas and i live in houston. (Not saying i ran that far just saying) And realized what i had done and actually wanted to be in jail. only because i would be cut off from life and drugs. I went to court and was sentenced to a lifetime sentences without parol. And from there i thought about how my life went. and i thought about everything. Everything that has happened in life and what a waste in God’s creation i was.
Then i started to look at the bight side of things before i killed my self at maximum security prison. i thought well i set some great examples to people who know me and showed them that drugs is not the way obviously… And now i think about that i dont wanna kill myself its a wierd felling inside about how my life was a waste but the one good thing in life made my happy. and it wasnt a person or anything like that it was the fact that i taught people a bad example and will probably be told to the next generation of kids about my story… So if you think you got it hard then think again and think about the one good thing in life and run away as far as you need to. for me it was prison for life… that pretty far. So hope this helped you wannadiers, if it did please comment below cause i would like to know your story.