So I’ve been depressed for a long time… pretty much since I turned nine. I know that its normal to be depressed sometimes, but this has been going on for more than 5 years. I don’t know exactly what’s wrong with me but I feel like I have an inferiority complex? basically I’m lower than dirt. I can’t go to a therapist because my parents think I’m fine. I tried to commit suicide a year ago but I was found and saved by my parents to my own dismay. Ive talked to them about what happened and all they said was that actions come with consequences and grounded me. I tried to tell them that I want help but they said that I only need to keep myself busy and gave me more chores to do, I don’t mind it but I’d like to talk to my own parents about why I want to die. every day I find something else to blame on myself and some other flaw. I think I was literally only put on this earth to make everyone miserable. I’m scared to try to kill myself again though. what am I supposed to?
3 comments
Hi, I’m assuming from your post that you’re 14-15 now? I don’t know if your school has some sort of counseling service. If they do, you might want to consider using it – it’s usually free, and I don’t think you need your parents’ consent. It sounds like your parents might be scared and thus in denial about/avoiding the issue of your depression/suicide attempt. Getting your school counselor (if you have one) to explain the situation could be helpful.
Good luck!
There are sooooo many teens dealing with this exact same issue, if you were to just understand that it’s temporary and that you can control it, you would save yourself years of trouble. Don’t get too wrapped up in your own head and your own thoughts. That’s why your parents want you to stay busy, because it’s true, if you let your mind wonder at this age you are going to just hurt yourself. Be strong..so that you can be strong for others when they need help. Be that person who understands what they are going through, then you will find people who understand what you are going through. That’s when you will finally let out your feelings and start solving your problems.
I don’t recommend you talk to counsellers because no one is going to tell you anything you want to hear.
@RealTalk30: That’s very good advice. Keeping busy helps a lot, and talk therapy is never going to help you if you’re not in a place mentally where you can work through your issues. I suggested counseling though because a counselor might be able to get mental health “on the table” in the family, so to speak, and I think that might be helpful. Also, I was referred for a diagnosis, and being able to put a name on what was wrong helped a lot; I was able to separate the condition from “me” and be assured (more or less) of it’s temporary nature.
I appreciate your perspective though, as someone who’s further along in life – it’s so easy to forget that we’re not the only ones in pain.