What now

So now stuff was going amazing was working out found the right people and now.. I’m not living at home a few hours away living in a basement parents don’t want me back stuff was pretty shit befor I was arrested in my bedroom about 2 weeks now going to be going in to foster care if I’m not accepted in to some program and I would be there for a year then idk were I think back home but my bestfriend it feels like he s replacing me. I’ve been failing school and this was suppose to be the turn around year and none of what I wanted to happen is going to I was gonna bust my ass every day at the gym and at school and trying just to be good enough my parents hated the way I was physically and mentally so I tried changing the phycial one but now it’s mentally and changing one is hard enough and I just feel like every thing is going to shit again I was getting confindce now it’s gone and now I don’t even feel like I have the will to keep moving but I pull out every bit of last energy just to .. Keeping going and im not sure weather I want to just end it now just mix some bleach or gas with some rum or some thing and have few cigarets write the letter say my apologize and be done ….. I know that my life is nothing like others or to you reading this and mine seems like nothing like its not that big of problem but I’m just at the point of being called fat to many times and a disappointment and fat pig and and ass and I’m just so tired of failing every thing I’ve ever tried and .. I’m just ..giving up no will to push forward no motivation to look back