Not worth the breath.

I’m just going to start with how getting an education and becoming successful is my top goal in my life
Sorry it’s long. . . good luck. . .
Honestly this goal as weird as it may sound is what’s keeping me alive on some of my most suicidal days. I tell myself I have somewhere to be in my future. I don’t always believe it. . . Like now. I feel like I’m going no where. I’m approaching sophomore year of college. I have great grades but I absolutely HATE the school I’m at right now.

I’ve made the decision to drop out. I tell my parents this after looong delibration. They pretty much tell me I’m a huge failure and a piece of shit whos going nowhere now because I refuse to stay here. . . I HATE that they feel that way because they are who I’ve always been trying to please.

Silly as it may seem these are the small no fucking reason why I get so damn low sometimes. . . I’M NOT WORTH ANYONES BREATH. Why should I stick around for however many fucking misearble years so people waste their own precious breath on me, telling me how much I SUCK! I just want to jump out a window right now. . . HOWEVER I WON’T (at this time)

I know that I shouldn’t let people decide my happiness, but damn it feels like I either have to risk my happiness to please other people (that’s how much I HATE this school) this school is FUCKING PATHETIC and doesn’t deserve my time and money. . . but I’m a quitter and failure because I’m leaving? Why do I feel so shitty about a decision I know that is best for me?