Last week was particularly bad, and I had repeated thoughts about suicide–after many months of not having those thoughts.
Then on Sunday I was much better. Â I gave my oldest daughter a special gift. Â I had my Rolex readjusted so that it fit her. Â I got so much joy watching her wear it. Â I’ve always told her that she could have it as an heirloom when I died, but I wanted the chance to watch her enjoy it. Â I was so happy about giving it to her. Â Yesterday, I was in a board meeting for a charity I serve on and got two nice compliments. Â So you would think my ego is boosted.
But this morning, I woke up. Â And again thoughts of suicide are creeping back in. Â I wish it would stop.
1 comment
I certainly understand how you feel. It’s like even when something good happens, it is always hampered by these annoying thoughts. Today Is a down day for the both of us. Sometimes my thoughts of suicide can last for days which why I sleep as much as I can. Lately that hasn’t been successful because I keep having nightmares. I called out of school for today and I called out of work for tomorrow.
I think that is sweet you gave your daughter your watch. I am sure she will appreciate that forever. If you ever wanna chat, I am here.