Chemicals

There are chemicals
in my brain
that can make me
feel empty, lonely
completely insane
worthless, pointless
hopeless, and absolutely
fucking miserable

They make chemicals
to tell my brain
that I should actually
want to try and live
make me happy
feel complete
whole, and satisfied

They make chemicals
to make life full of
wonder and mystery
and magic and love

But in the end
its all just chemicals
all the feelings
the despair and isolation
or the contentment and pleasure
none of it is real
its all just chemicals

All the wanting
and needing
all the searching
for something to feel
something to heal me
when all I really need
is some chemicals

I think I’ll go die now
Thank you life
for making me
a bag of flesh and bones
and filling me with the chemicals
but they were the wrong ones