Disapointment?

Hi there guys, I’m just writing a post on how I feel and probably am which is being a big failure and disappointment in life. I feel like even if I do my best it’s never enough. I want to die all the time because I feel like there’s nothing for me here. I hate what I have become and I just can’t stand it. I make myself sick. I used to cut myself and I attempted suicide. I have had help from docs and other people I had medicine as-well. In the end I might just be a crazy person? I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried to fake my happiness but it’s no use…. I’m just disappointing the people I love the most.