This post is mainly for anyone who needs a read or something to carry on….
I’ve been battling with killing myself everyday for over 2 years. What’s worse is that the reason I feel this way is because of the shit from other people – some people are just nasty and hateful, I’ve been dealing with privacy invasion – I’ve had a lot stolen from me intellectually as well as emotionally – maybe that sounds dumb, but it’s true…. I ended up in the hospital once because I wanted to kill myself…. this isn’t a pitty post it’s to let anyone who reads it know they aren’t alone!!!!!!!!!!!! I worked for some big companies and they allowed for harassment which is how all this started, one person could’ve gone to the cops and said “hey this is messed up this is what’s happening” I went to the cops, various stations, many times and they laugh because they can’t do anything – some offered a little bit of help or tips to try to deal, but the truth is there’s a sick person still out there….and because of their shit my life is basically over – I’m a 28 year old walking dead person who no one believes and its just shit over and over and over…. I can’t walk down the street without bullshit – I didn’t do anything to deserve this and so I battle everyday day with the regret of why don’t I kill myself. The truth is it’s selfish to kill yourself, but I get that it makes it all end and since no one else will provide help sometimes it seems like a good idea…. but it isn’t because despite the fact that you have no one beside you and get harassed daily by everyone including  strangers the workplace, management etc – then insult to injury told you’re weak or have a mental illness….You have a purpose in life. So while being a punching bag sucks – sometimes the bags going to swing back and make someone else look like an ass. So to anyone having one of those days…..  the bag will swing back and everything that puts you to the thought of killing yourself will hopefully end. Eventually the manipulators, puppetters and jackasses playing games will get it – and they’ll realize the whole time they were setting you up or acting as if you had the problem – it was never so…..
we all have issues – embrace it – be yourself – even when others use privacy invasion and the past to hurt you – living is the biggest insult…. don’t give them what they want and easy excuse because you killed yourself…….
maybe one day this country will stop being stupid – and have appropriate measures so that people can get help not laughed at and abused…… Â I was only told I was an idiot 2 times and dumb 3 times by absolute strangers who shouldn’t even know who I am….and that means today is a good day. (THAT’S PATHETIC, BUT I’VE GOTTEN A HELL OF A LOT WORSE)
No whinning, no complaining, just throwing it out there – and regretfully wondering, why the hell haven’t I just killed myself, and what’s worse is todays psychology marks being suicidal as a mental illness and completely misses the damn crime that’s pushed you there……
If you’re reading this and you’re having those thoughts – pick yourself up and move on, listen to music, yell if you have too – you’re not alone in that daily battle.
1 comment
I think it was Yeats or some other poet who said: “I can sum up life in three words: It Goes On.”