I have been having thoughts of killing myself on/off for several years now. I have even lost my 20+ years of sobriety. I just “want to go home”. I am sick of the struggles, of the things in my past that affect me each day to the core of my being. I have spent thousands seeing several therapists, all to no avail. I am a walking robot cut off from the world about me. I am successfully employed and financially stable with loving friends and family. But nobody can understand the depths of my hell. The horror called life. I am so done. I am tired of fighting with my significant other and with the damaged part of my spirit. I am already dead inside….I just need the courage.
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6 comments
i feel you cause your words describe a big part of me.
so finished, seen enough, had enough, the will is extinguished.
Right on……
A book called, Stuck but Sober was my mantra….until I even lost that (my sobriety).
You can regain your sobriety. There are people who know how you feel. Talk to them; you guys can help each other thrive in life.
@witsend, you say you are gainfully employed and have loving friends and family and you are able to function in that rather pleasant environment. why do you think you feel so detached and empty on the inside? look out instead of in and you might feel better-
I suspect that the struggles with your significant other have worn you out and made you seek “escape” in suicide. It isn’t really that you need to die, it’s that you need to admit that you need to walk away from that relationship, take time to heal, then find a new one.