I stopped into a bar the other day for a pint of new castle, on my way home from work of course!
I sat down, not too many folks at the bar..a couple playing pool! Anyways..
I’m sitting there and this (kinda) young dude is sitting there talking it up with the tendie, sounding like he had had a few already. So I’m sitting there just sorta chiming in on conversations going on, sipping my ale… And then me and this young dude get to talking about death and old age.
We both made it plain in our opinions that living past a certain age and becoming simply useless to ourselves and others isn’t an acceptable outcome in today’s world. Society is just keeping us alive longer… For what? Seems like it would be the proper choice to let people decide when they want to go themselves. If gramps has had complications lately but has settled in the fact that life has been well lived and he’d rather meet his end, rather than suffer and become a burden. I wouldn’t want a child to grow up only to have to give up their lives just to take care of me.
Then he told me about how his grandparents were both very specific in their last will and testament, that in the case of an emergency where one of them might not make it through, having only the other to drive them to the emergency room… And I quote..
“Take the long road to the hospital!”
40 comments
I like it! I’d give ya a longer reply but I’m lazy and tired as fuck bananas today. hope alls well brotha *clink clink*
*clink clink*
…look what you started!!
together we are Internet comment alcoholics; apart we are nothing
…………*CLINK CLINK SMASH*………….
bartender…we’re guna need two more beers down here.
Make that quatro porfavor!
I’m with killswitchon, but I just woke up and quite un-lazy now after reading “tired as fuck bananas” :). I’ve pondered that as well, being old and frail and unable to do anything for yourself sounds like a horrid existence, even more so than the one i’m living now. And I certainly wouldn’t want my kids, or gran kids, or a stranger to have to bathe and feed me, not to mention plenty of other things. At the pace i’m going I don’t think i’d have to worry much about it, but I don’t really want to live past the big 5-0. No offense intended towards any reader.
Thanks mike, I really appreciate your support.
Although I have to say I feel guilt cause I shouldn’t be writing these things here. That’s not why I’m here and that’s not how I want to live my life.
Thank you.
no problem RT. gotta let it out to move on. we’re here for you.
I hate my life so much..
Contemplating my death is an every day thing.. But I guess it’s a new low when considering suicide might not be so far off..
Where the fuck have I gone so wrong..
Come on bro, do you know how much you offer to that guy at the bar, people around you everyday and not to mention us on SP. You’ve effected me positively, just as you most likely have others. I like how killswitchon likened your circumstance to The Butterfly Effect. I know you hate this crap, but keep on keeping on.
“take the long road to the hospital” heh, i like that.
RT, i don’t think it’s where you, yourself have “gone wrong,” but that our whole culture, in fact many cultures, if not all of them around the world, have squandered their potential to identify the correct areas that needed the most radical improvements, and have failed to make things in ways that are compatible and conducive with the way a human life should be lived.
Maybe it’s not their fault though. Maybe we had to be given this shit scenario to develop people who could figure out exactly what needs to be corrected, and then how to correct it.
If fighting a losing battle is all you can do, the only choice you’re allowed… then i can’t really say it’s “wrong,” for the individual…
But it’s collectively wrong. The whole human collective needs to literally rise up and work together to fix this shit, because a minority of battered and damaged people, are not going to be able to fix everything that needs fixing for and by everyone.
Thanks man!
And thank Jung for me too! lol
50 is not exactly senile, drooling and needing your ass wiped though Stabby…
That said, I’m 52 and no, I don’t like it one bit. I’m fat and lost my looks (yeah, call me shallow, but I think that’s the worst part). But I take some pride in having made it to this advanced age, given that my adult life’s been mostly one gigantic crock of shit.
Suffice to say, I don’t wanna see sixty, and have taken steps to ensure I don’t have to.
But plenty of 50 year olds I know have loads to live for. You expect different stuff at this age. You get pleasure from being embedded in a family unit, becoming the matriarch or patriarch, looking forward to grandkids, maybe at the pinnacle of your career, looking after your health and fitness way better than you did in your youth…
So I don’t think 50 sucks per se. But for me it does. I’ve got none of those things, and am just basically marking time.
My mum’s 82, she’s mentally sharper than I am, on the ball, knowledgeable, active, enthusiastic, involved, independent, socially active. And plenty of her friends are leading full lives too. But I know she’d rather not be that age, even though she looks ten years younger, and she doesn’t tell people her age because she says you get put in a box and labelled if you admit to 80 plus. 82 is something I know for a fact I will never see. Thank god.
All I’m saying is – everyone’s different. I know it’s a dreadful cliche, but age is a number.
Not exactly what I meant, at the pace i’m going though, i’d be lucky to see 50, but I digress. I was speaking in more personal terms in how I see myself at that age, not the majority.
Thanks for your opinion! Yeah it’s important to be happy and productive in life. That’s pretty much the bottom line to free will in this world. As long as we have free will, then life can be worth living.
aw RT man don’t be like that bro. you got so much goin for ya: a job that you’re still able to work, your relatively stable mind, a vice that you love to indulge–weed, and lets not forget: a blank slate for you to start all over again romantically speaking. you get to find that special someone and get wrapped up in the pursuit and thrill of the chase–you’ll get those fireworks and butterflies again. you’ll get that head over heels love again mate. don’t dismay for you have so much to be thankful for and so many gifts to offer. if you were gone we would all miss you without a doubt, and furthermore: think about that stimulating convo you had the other night with this young man at the bar–he would’ve never met you and it’s like the butterfly effect–you’ll know how profound of an impact you may have left on him whether it was a joke you said that he remembers or the emotional camaraderie he needed that you so effortlessly provided. who knows? what I do know is you’re important to me my bro and you’d be sorely mistaken to think that you don’t matter friend. chin up broseph, chest out and walk on soldier. like I said I’m guna be here for you as much as I can be. if that means emailing each other every day or even a call once a week if I can manage–so be it. *manhug
Couldn’t of said better myself. We’re with you RT.
*brofistchestbumpmanhugheadbutt*
Thanks you guys..
You know that feeling you get when emotions take over.. Face starts to burn, eyes turn red, chest starts to pound.. And the feeling of being trapped in a corner with only seconds left? Yeah I got that feeling real bad..
I’m afraid to do anything right now.. Afraid of what ill do
Just trying to breathe
I’m not sure if it’s the same, but i’ve definitely known a feeling (or series thereof) that i could describe the exact same way. It sucks and it’s overwhelming, completely disruptive, sometimes escalates to debilitating.
Just trying to breathe is a good strategy, combined with the notion of “ride it out.” It’ll plateau at some point, and you’ll feel better for a while. But until then, it’s practically unbearable.
I’ve thought a lot about what leads to that place, what triggers the escalation, and how to try to avoid it, or at least mitigate the impacts, and decrease the frequency of its occurrence… but i think it’s just a natural cycle some of us go through, and sometimes all you can do is quite literally “just try to breathe, and ride it out.”
I’ve personally noticed that these spikes tend to follow hopeful or pleasant times. It’s like your mood shifts too far, and then swings back the other direction to equalize, which, when repeated along a period of time, looks like instability. One way i’ve approached managing this, is to stay neutral, and don’t let yourself get too far above the baseline. If you don’t get “too happy,” you won’t have such a hard crash when it wears off. If you let yourself become elated, in a scenario where that elation cannot be perpetually maintained, or lead to a higher plateau, it’s inevitable to experience a painful crash, much more painful than what happens when you just “get a little down” from the neutral baseline. I try not to let myself get too up or too down. But i also try not to resist that which i do not want to persist.
Which leads to where i was going with this:
“That which you resist, persists.” -Jung
Which gave me an idea to try to hack that process by resisting the cues and triggers that lead toward elation. If you resist the “illusory” elation triggers, they will persist… which should result in a sustained encouragement toward positivity… so if you keep resisting it, you should have a sort of automatic “pull” toward better thoughts and motivation toward choosing the better actions, which should ultimately result in real progress, which can become the next plateau of self-development.
If you want to make progress, you’ll have to protect that progress… and if you want to protect that progress, you have to focus on creating and maintaining the foundations of a progress-conducive scenario.
In other words: rein it in, and try not to fix your gaze too far ahead of your current position.
But when those spikes and valleys get out of hand, you have to work to stabilize them, to maintain that foundational basis of stability.
I am manic depressive ..not officially diagnosed but it’s plain to see I think! Untreated! …actually not doing so bad considering!
bro I know that feel all to well! story of the past 6 years! you got this man–see? we don’t even need to advise you on anything you’ve already got the game plan. this aint your first rodeo and it shows man. use everything you’ve learnt and that strong rational logical mind to manhandle your emotions into submission. take control one deep breath at a time my bro. u got this.
Please try and hold on. Like reading your posts and you have helped many here and have made SP a better place… And your funny too..
Your name is so adorable! Some of the shit you say is freaking adorable too!
…there should be a rule against that! Oops…sorry, didn’t mean to dump more on your plate! It’s coo it’s coo, keep rock’n yo thang my sad little sister from the… From down… Over…. Where da hell you from??
Jk 🙂 thanks for the kind words! It surely gives me strength. And the same goes for you too.. I don’t want you to be sad about life and your future! You bring a lot to this place. Your intelligence and your compassion show that there is still a story that hasn’t been written for you yet. And it all starts with finding that strength in yourself to realize you’ve been a very important inspiration to many, this whole time. It only waits to be accepted by yourself!
Thanks
Every now and then Rite-Aid will discount 12 packs of Newcastle for $10.99. That’s s smokin’ deal. I’ve actually bought as many as eight 12 packs before during football season. Haha. I had to get rid of the food in the fridge to make space for the 96 bottles of beer.
Newcastle is a fine beer.
Rite-Aid also occasionally runs deals on Gordon Bierch, Sam Adams, Heineken and Sierra Nevada. If you’ve never tried Anchor Steam, you might like that too.
Good tip!! Great tip, actually! Ill look into that this weekend..there’s a rite aid at the other end of town! Thanks!
And yeah, recently discovered new castle, really enjoyable! Think ill have one right now! Cheers my friend! *clink clink*
hah, you’ve been missing out. ^^
Before i quit drinking, newcastle used to be one of my go-to beers, because it was dark and tasty and available just about everywhere.
I’ve never liked “light” beers, or cheap beers. I’ve rarely encountered a “blonde” beer that i’ve liked, but there are a few out there i’d consider worthy.
I’ve always preferred stouts, and Guinness is available most places.
cue “most interesting man in the world” meme:
“I don’t always drink beer, but when i do… it’s usually not dos equis. I’ve always liked dark beers.”
C4, your random comments are hilariously legendary 😀 always put a shit eating grin on my face.
RT3 mentioned Newcastle.
It’s currently 73 degrees Fahrenheit in Elk Mountain, Wyoming under mostly clear skies.
“Like no place else on Earth”.
I’ve seen pictures of Mongolian landscapes that look similar to Wyoming. Winters are harsh in both places.
edit: remove “random”. rest of comment still stands.
Double edit: re insert “random” lol
triple edit: ah, I got nothin!
woa when did this thread start bumpin’
Again?? lol pick a name and stick with it geez!! Ha!
I’m being stendarr
It’s like every time you change it we have to think up new acronyms for you! lol HS eh…not so hard after all!
thanatos doesn’t require an acronym… I’m thinking I’ll switch between names like the lovely stendarr
Idk man, kinda thought you had your own thing going on there.. Don’t be her clone dude! You’ll regret it! lol
Jk
My own thing?
You know, I think morlock is kind of a clever name