Someone hear me out

Hello, i just really want to tell someone about this, i really do want to kill myself, everyday i feel anxious, depressed, worried, and most recently angry, i was always fine with the idea of suicide, but recently, i screwed things up, i have a great family, i am dating someone, but, i just cant seem to tell anyone about this, i doubt any of them will understand, i am going through a rough point in my life, and i know i can get through it, but i just simply dont want to, i am always afraid my girl will leave me, i dont tell her how i feel, in fear she will realize what a freak i am, i am constantly jealous and anxious, but i dont tell her, and if i kill myself, i doubt she will even really miss me, i really want to talk to someone about this, i dont want to live to see the future, cause im really not intrested in living on, i am thinking of cutting my entire hand, like to slice it open, to make sure i dont survive, all i know is that  i want to end it , i feel so unimportant on this world, i dont belong here