I have a very hard decision that could either make or break my life. So in the beginning of the year our guidance counselr came and told us to come and make an appointment with her if we ever needed to. So one day I wanted to meet her, and I also knew that I get upset alot so, this could be good for me! And as she got to know my problems more we meet more and more and I told her every thing… almost everything that is. One day I come in bawling and she says I don’t look so good. And we are talking and talking and I finally told her that I had thoughts of “Going away forever” (aka, my way of telling her I no longer wanted to live)
And she’s a pretty nice woman so, as the meeting went on she polietly ask me questions like, have you ever thought/done self harm? (as in, cutting, burning, ect.) and I couldn’t just LIE right to her face so I just sat there looking down and crying my eyes out. And all I said was, i thought about punching something to hurt myself, but i never did it. (which was quite the lie.) When in real life I do tend to cut myself. So at the end of the meeting she asked if i thought it would help if i saw a like theripist or something every week, but I kinda forget what happend after that. All i remeber was going back to class with bloodshot eyes and kids asking questions.
At out last meetiing she said I was like a rollercoaster I started out normal then I went down and down and down….. and then up and up and up (becuase towards the last days of school, i was SO happy nottttthing could bring me down!) And I thanked her and that was that.
So here’s the hard part. I could 1) Tell her I cut and get help. Or 2) Not tell, and live in sadness. But im scared to tell becuase if i do i might get sent somewhere and my parents will get invloved and everythign will go wrong, but sometimes i WANT to tell.. no i dont want to, i NEED to! And other times i feel like ill live a live of secrets, and lying. So here’s where I VERY badly need your help, if you are still reading. Should I tell or not? I just want things to be back to the way they used to be, I want to be happy. I know you can make your self be happy and sad, but it’s like i WANT to be happy, but something (im not sure what) is making me sad. So it’s not interily my fault… Thank you for reading, i would very much appreciate your help,-Jess.
3 comments
If you come right out with it and tell her that you have hurt yourself but that you ARE willing to get help theyre not going to put you away or send you somewhere, theyre just going to set you up with a therapist. You wont be considered a danger to yourself or others if you make it apparent that you’re doing what you can to get better.
Jess,
You are showing symptoms of depression. Caused mostly by mal-nutrition or upsetted events. Your problem does not lie at whether to tell or not. You should seek help from the ones that could help. But remember that not all counsellors or doctors can help, if you encounter the ones that are insensitive, ignorant, or incapable of. Then you should turn to someone else. Some doctors will think they are god-like by prescribing some drugs that they think are magnificient but they have never try or dare taking it themselves. If it happens that the doctor does not help your case, ask for another doctor. On the other hand, you just try to equip yourself with knowledge of your problems, such as net-searching. Sometimes it’s as easy as knowing that it’s just the meat and vegetables ingredients that you are lacking may cause you like this. Sometimes just by talking to someone who will listen will help a lot too.
Fear no more. Face it. Solve the problems.
Try reading my posts to see if anything helps.
http://suicideproject.org/archives/2009/07/23/sleep-disorder-can-find-relief-in-minutes/
I definitely agree with brokeNinsidE. If you tell her outright and that you want to stop, it will show you’re taking healthy steps. She should set you up with someone who can help and about your parents, she sounds like the type of counselor who would respect your wishes as much as she can about not getting them involved. If she needs to tell them about anything under the rule that you posed a threat to yourself and I assume you’re still a minor, she sounds like the sensible kind of woman who would handle it tactfully and not tell them every detail, just that you need to see a therapist for awhile. If you really like her as much as you say you do, it shouldn’t do anything but good to tell her the truth.