I just want my depression and the voices to end, I had the best job and the best wife and lost it all. I have lost my life, my confidence and all my friends. Am currently studying again and doing really well, but hearing voices to commit suicide and having depression big time sucks as if I can’t pull myself out of a grave. And yes I do take meds.
I have gone through suicide in my head thousands of times and know of the painless method I will actually carry this out. Just need to save some money. It’s pain vs pleasure for me and I can’t cope also don’t want to be pumped full of meds again being like a zombie. I can’t see my symptoms getting any better. Sucks big time.
I have had near death experiences and out of body experiences so know what its like not being in my body, the voices have even told me when volcanic eruptions and earthquakes would happen and they did happen. Freaky huh. But now the voices are all about suicide and I know it’s up to me at the end of the dayday but its been like this for months not knowing how long I can go any further.
7 comments
Not freaky, seems to be the very same road I thread… At least you had all those things… Which in the end means there is a possibility to get them again, specially since you’ve proven to be capable enough to get them.
I hear voices too. It’s a curse that never goes away. How long have you been taking meds? Anti-psychotics take a while to kick in, maybe as long as a few months but eventually they might start to work for you.
For about 18months now and when I go back to see the doc all he wants to do is up the meds which means I can no longer think straight its a vicious cycle
Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Strange, after 18 months the voices should have gone away. I guess your disorder is really strong. I have recently quit all my medications because they make me feel like a zombie and I want to feel alive before I die, if that makes any sense.
Have you tried all the usual crap like meditation and excersize? I sincerely wish you luck and hope they leave you alone. You’re doing well at your studies so that should prevail eventually and you will win. Don’t give up hope.
The voices tell me to meditate and the usual crap but I can’t find it in my self to do so. I also feel like a zombie with so many meds. The only time they leave me alone is when im drunk like right now. I hope they do if they don’t I’m on suicide watch CO poisoning. I’m a qualified welder so getting rid of the cat converter is easy for me chow
Death dreamer have you decided how you want to die, I want mine to be painless because I’m a nice guy and hate pain but thinkvthose that hang themselves are brave
yeah I’ve decided. I also want it to be painless so I’ll be going out with barbiturates, just go to sleep and never wake up. Those who hang themselves are brave indeed but I don’t want my corpse to be disfigured I just want it to be peaceful as i exit this life.
Hmm it’s strange that alcohol has that effect on you, for me the voices get louder when I’m drunk. Arrrgh. Sounds like your doctor is stupid and doesn’t know what he/she is doing, there must be some anti-psychotics that actually work for you it’s a shame that you feel like you have to die even if you don’t want to