Finally out of my depression,encouraging story

I think sometimes in life you take the path that seems the most daring and obvious to you, but sometimes that path isnt the right one. For me it was the art path, since i was 16 i dreamed of being a great artist someday, i worked my ass off for years, putting aside friends,health and everything else, because everyone knows usually if you want to succeed and have a living in art you either need incredible luck or work your ass off everyday. Well i chose not to rely on luck and work my ass off, and even then, it wasnt enough. After almost 10 years of grinding my talent, trying my best to be professional at it, up to a point where i would stay inside all day and not go outside, because since highschool it was the thing that brought me a sens of purpose, that had people talking positive about me and yeah…. I was always the odd one in school, so art was a sort of redemption, and it stuck with me that i had to do art to be accepted in society. 8 years foward, now 24 , after 5 years of studies and lots of debt and time invested in outdated school programs, i get out of school with nothing to show for it, really bad health, and so much time and energy wasted worrying about a future that would never happen.

Finally i had found a job in art to work for the tv. everything was ok, for a year, then came the employment insurance, then moved to the big city to find something, but after almost a year of research, nothing, just more debts and a strong depression looming over me. Many thoughts of suicide, went so many time to the hospital in a state of horrid panic i cannot count. Thats when i finally gave up, went back to my parents, at 25 years old, in a state of complete and utter despair. And for about 5 months i couldnt do the simplest task, i had given up on life. Thats when i decided to forget all i had learnt and go into a new field of work that would be simpler and give me the opportunity to move more, which is nursing school. i decided to forget about the past, about how i was bullied and also about art, and decided that it was time to move on and become a new person, because im not the little 16 years old kid anymore that draw for others in hope of making friends, i need to stop thinking of pleasing others and start thinking about me and what i want out of life, and art is not a part of it anymore, so screw other people. I will still grow my talent for art but only for me and for fun, never for others anymore. And now i go to the gym everyday and lost about 20 pounds, i look much more healthier, my sexual life has came back, im now dating people, and my self esteem is better than before.

Sometimes in life you hang on to things that made you go trough tough times in your life, but you also need to see when to let go of those things, because things change. Its something i shouldve done years ago, but wasnt ready yet… I thought i would never get out of depression, honestly i was sure i would be dead by now, but now things have totally changed, and its because ive accepted im never going to be that great artist or that person ive always dreamed of that everybody would admire, now i center my dreams not on others but on myself, I just want a normal cool little job, do fitness as a side, and have a lover to spend time with, and i think i can live a fullfiled life with that even if im not the best at anything, then again , who is.

I know this probably dont apply to most people on this website as their depression is related to bipolar disorder or chronic depression, schizophrenia and such, but maybe the people that are simply in a very bad time of their life can find something meaningful trough this post .