I can’t sleep again, had to wash down another thorazine. I want to paint the walls red but I know it will get me nowhere but scarred for life however long that spark may live on. I am ruminating on my panic attack earlier this week right in the middle of class, the professor sent me home “sick”, I almost jumped off the roof… But I know better (been there, done that). I don’t want to die really, I just want to be free of turmoil and strife. What happens when we die, what do you think? Are we doomed to repeat this miserable life over again until we get it right? Do we burn in a fiery pit of tar and lava? Do we transcend to better and bigger places or dreams? Or nothing?
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Im not exactly sure what’s happens but I’m kinda hoping we get reborn into a different life with no recollection’s of this passing life. A better life maybe. I dont know… I’m just hoping. But hope really isnt getting me anywhere right now..
“Do we transcend to better and bigger places?” that would be neat if earth was just a terrible start and it gets better when you die 🙂
I wish I could give you a good answer..
We all need to believe in something greater, in our lives, to grant us safe passing into the next.. if we could only see how our lives will end, we probably wouldn’t call it death..
Keep searching for the answers
Life is hell, death is relief-eternal.
I think all the trillions of cells that compose each person’s body gets recycled by plants and microbes, and all those tiny little branches of neurons are no exception. There is no relief, no pain, no joy, no anything.
Happiness exists..
Don’t you do that to yourself.. don’t try to convince yourself things can’t be better.
No its not easy, ever… just try to get over that first hump of believing that life should be “fair”. Once you’ve settled that it’s ok for life to be unfair then you can move on to wanting life to work for you. Wanting life to be better is far different than expecting it to get better