Just want it all to end

My depression started when i was 11. My father had been abusing me and cheating on my mother then she eventually got tired of it and her left when i was 12. Haven’t talked to him since. My mother went into deep depression after he left and she started abusing prescription drugs (soma, vicoden etc) she had very unmanageable diabetes and was in and out of the hospital for 6 years. Then she passed away 3 years ago when i was 18. She died from an accidental pill overdose. Ever since then ive had so much emotional pain. I dont know how to deal with it all so ive been drinking every night to numb my pain. I recently went to the doctor and was diagnosed with stage 1 liver disease. I just want it all to be over with but i dont wanna hurt the people that care about me. Basically im fucking stuck….