Yesterday I nearly killed myself. I sat on the floor in the shower screaming, rocking back and forth. & Today, I feel as if that never happened although my cuts on my wrist burn. I’m feeling relaxed though and I found some motivation! I went to physical therapy today and It hit me. That’s what I’d like to go to school for. I haven’t done homework in at least over a year. I didn’t care about anything, but I’m smiling because I finally have the slightest bit of motivation. I have been dying for that.
Change
11 comments
That is great you found something to aim for.
It might be bipolar disorder if your mood suddenly changed… I’d be careful if I were you, and if you indeed have it, get it treated… FAST!
You don’t want to end up with it worsening into a psychotic state like mine did, since I left it untreated…
Anyway, regardless of if you are bipolar or not, congratulations on finding the strength and motivation to carry on. That is admirable, especially so soon after a suicide attempt. Best of luck to you.
I’m glad you didn’t end it, that here you are, and with something in life to keep you motivated. I hope you can keep your life going in an upwards direction, if you ever feel as you did yesterday, or even heading there, please seek help, please talk to someone. But to end on a positive note, it’s always good to read someone who’s found something to build on, I wish you well for the future.
I wonder, is the rocking back & fourth a coping mechanism? Is that why we do it?
Glad you found some help and motivation – best wishes moving forward.
Don’t let a single day go by with thinking and working towards physical treatment as a career. The day you do.. you’ll end up working at wAL mart or something for the rest of your life. Iwhen I was younger I was in school for web design..fully motivated and loved it.. til 1 evening during that year I gave into smoking weed one night.. and never quit blazing.. Jesus since then I dropped out of school, became the walking dead and worked the worst jobs in the world and totally destroyed my entire life in every aspect.. in life there is many roads.. ive strayed onto the road of misery for 12 years.. lost in the dark with no way out.. because it’s inside me.. God bless you.. i was blessed.. but then I was cursed.. all from a drug.. the forbidden apple..
Like L4Y said its great you found some motivation and a purpose good luck with your studies I hope everything works out
What changed for you? Where did you find the strength? I have no answers myself and am going nowhere.
You’re beautiful
Agreed
You are beautiful as well