I’m pretty sure I suffer of bipolar disorder and borderline disorder (I also think I got sexual hypoactive disorder but I don’t believe that’s a problem) because I got nearly all the symptoms for both of them:
-I’m extremely unstable,sometimes I easily get so angered that I feel a very strong urge to kill the person(s) that annoyed me (and I really tried twice),but also sometimes I feel so depressed or happy that I couldn’t get angry at all;
-I really wanna take drugs and I strongly doubt anyone will stop me;
-I got chronic feelings of emptiness pretty often;
-I harm myself many times (especially punch myself),generally because I can’t calm down when I’m in rage and I know I’m gonna run into trouble if I fight;
-I’m very paranoid and I don’t generally trust anybody;
-I often switch between manic episodes and depressive episodes,I’m severely depressive at least 60% of a day and I got one or two severe manic episodes daily,which last from 10 to 30 minutes;
-I got all the symptoms of severe mania,excepting those that have something to do with sex;
-I show all the signs of severe depression;
-I have auditory hallucinations almost daily and occasionally visual hallucinations too;
I go to psychologist at the moment,but I hide a few things from her and sometimes I lie because I know I’ll go in more trouble and at several hospitals if she finds out that I really am mentally sick.I probably gonna try to kill myself once more this summer,I also got an extreme curiosity about what is after death and the only way to for sure is dying…But I’m still somewhat afraid so I’d like to prolong my life some more,although it’s hard.
And I forgot to mention that I’m a teen.
10 comments
You ask what you should do if you are mentally ill then you say you lie and hide your illness. Try being honest and getting the help you need.
If I don’t lie I’ll go to the hospital with no doubt and I’m sure these doctors won’t solve my problems.I also didn’t mention I live in Romania…and you don’t know what crappy doctors and medicines they got here,really!
I’m so sorry to hear. Can you access a library? At least read up on some self books? Or research online. I wish I had better advice. :/
I understand what you’re saying. I went to a doctor complaining about a somatic illness, but they sent me to a psychiatrist. When I realised I can’t convince them the problem is real, even after I got a paper from a doctor saying the physical illness IS A POSSIBILITY, they keep saying I’ve imagined it.
Well, when I realised I can either lie or be called delusional, I decided to lie. Welp, they bought it all. This scenario has made me feel even worse than the original situation. As the end result, I’ve had panic attacks, suicidal thoughts and severe depression at times. And I’m too afraid to reveal that because they would connect everything to the “delusion” and make the problem into something that it’s not. I could admit to everything else, but after showing them that paper I cannot accept that they still consider this somatic issue to be an indicator of my mental health. I refuse to accept that as a symptom, and as long as they believe so I cannot get any help from them.
So I’m left to deal with all this shit on my own. I’ve lost all my faith in the mental health professions. They’ve shown themselves to be misunderstanding and easily manipulated, so why should I trust them to know what’s best for me? There is no science involved in this, they only know what that doctor who referred me has told them and what I say myself. And of course they choose to believe the doctor over me.
The truth is no one knows if that somatic problem was real or not. In my opinion, they cannot prove a mental health issue either. It is all based on what you or someone else says about you, and if you have read the diagnosis criteria, you know what to say to make them believe one or the other. It’s all a load of unscientific bullshit. Who came up with those criteria anyway? A load of shit, I say.
The reason so many people get stuck in the psychiatric bullshit cycle is because the doctors have no idea what they are doing and how to actually improve people’s lives. They don’t help you reach your goals and do everything you need to do to actually be HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL. They only know how to remove a problem. They consider you damaged goods that has no hope for anything other than mediocrity. And that is not helpful, if you actually wish to achieve something with your life.
Now I may be wrong but… this is my opinion. Research as much about your condition as you can, read self-help guides, concentrate on understanding how YOU can make yourself better. Don’t let anyone else tell you who you are and what you need. Even a psychiatrist can only scratch the surface and they will never know the real you no matter well and truthfully you explain yourself. Even if you do talk to them about this, make sure you are on top of the situation. Never let anyone take away your freedom to decide for yourself, ever. If that could happen, then you need to stop talking to those people.
Thank you! I hope you’re right and I agree with you.They don’t have any right to simply call us delusional or insane,but we can’t do much about it…
They can’t detain you in a psychiatric hospital unless they believe that you are a danger to yourself or other people, if you make it clear that you aren’t hurting yourself or going to hurt yourself (yes, you have to lie, but it’s for the best) they can’t send you to a hospital, but with the honesty of your symptoms they may be able to treat you
I’m bipolar myself and my moodswings were greatly mitigated by meds such as lamictal and risperidone, it’s worth a try if you truly want to get better
All right…I’ll probably search for this meds at some drugstores,but what should I say to the druggist when I’m buying them?
I’m guessing you would need a prescription from your psych… Whatever the case, research any drug and possible side effects first. If you think drugs will help, then you probably need to talk to your therapist… But I echo russo that you can lie so that they can’t send you to a hospital, but still be honest about symptoms.
Anyway, I wish you luck. As if life isn’t hard enough already without having to think about tactics of how to deal with the people that are supposed to help you… But yeah, research, research, research. Stay on top of the situation. There’s my advice for you.
So their only purpose is this one…It could be troubling but here,I can get them without prescription.