I’m a teen female by birth. For a while I’ve been wearing guys clothing. Comfortable, confident, the whole picture. My dad’s all right with it – he’s pretty open-minded. I wish I was living with him.
My grandparents and my mother…ha, whole other story. They can’t imagine why a person with a feminine name wouldn’t want to wear flowery tops and cardigans. At Goodwill they frowned at my pile of baggy shorts and shirts. Almost told me to put the crap back, even though I was using my own money. I don’t get it – they should be happy I’m not wearing bubble-ass shorts. Sorry, I’m laughing at that idea.
To get away with it, I told them that guy clothes were more modest and breathable, and that they fit me better. (They do – I have a guy’s frame – tall, straight legs, flat chest, broadish shoulders, long arms, sharp nose – I’m often mistaken for a thin Nirvana-esque stoner dude.)
Yet still they continue with the cutesy nicknames. Can’t help but cringe when they call my name. Pretentious, feminine, gross.
I’m not full-blown trans. To be honest I don’t identify with anything. I dress like a guy, try to act and talk like a guy. Female pronouns are awful. I’ve never considered male pronouns – not sure how that’d work, or if I’d prefer it.
But I do have a name in the back of my head. A semi-male/unisex name. I want that name.
Sorry, ranting. My point is – how can I deal with a rigid-minded family? No fucking way I’m telling them that I’m not a girl. They’d freak and burn my clothing and force me into some Bible-thumping counseling.
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I’m a guy and used to be enamoured with the idea of switching genders (mtf-ts), I mean it sincerely and for a long time…but I’d have to go through many hurdles to actually pull it off-like getting a leaner body and so forth. Due to many drawbacks as well as my age and the impossibility of coming out to my family I felt I had to give it up completely…I put myself in some very embarrassing situations too, like buying female clothes-got dirty and strange looks from a number of women….I mean I could do it, I have a decent enough face and when I was younger and looked much better, sometimes I was confused for a girl. Anyhow I’ve shelved the idea for now and felt it’s not for me.
However in your case-if you can pull it off, go for it…no point being ‘in-between’…It’s just proof when girls want to turn into guys that transsexualism is a real phenomena. Honestly I think girls are awesome (sorry only the attractive ones)…and I don’t see why anyone would want to be a guy, though they can have their pluses too….but to each his or her own I guess.
Oh sorry, I didn’t read your last paragraph….ya if you’re around some religious wackjobs and your safety is a concern, then you’d be better off moving away from those yokels…like to a city that’s more liberal and open-minded.
In my case I wasn’t one of those people that was born knowing I was supposed to be the other gender, it’s something I came to realize later on. So in that sense I’m not as bound and determined by that impulse. I’m not happy being a man, but I’ve accepted living like one because it’s too difficult to switch.
For some TS’s its ‘life or death’…they have to live as the other gender or end their lives…if that was the case with me, then I’d follow through-even having to tell my family, friends, work, etc or leave them behind and transition in some other place. Good luck with whatever you do.
I’m 14 so I can’t just move out. I want to live with my dad, he’s pretty open-minded or whatever.
Hey, sorry that you’re not happy. Live however you want, whatever feels comfortable. If you think it’s “too late”, well, that’s fine.
I’ve experimented with a lot of styles over the years. When I was 5-6 I remember yelling that I wished I was a boy. Ashamed to admit it, but yes, I have worn girl clothes. Hated the feeling in them. Like a giraffe wearing a dress. Eliminated my personality so that no one could tell.
This isn’t a phase. I know because I’m comfortable for the first time. I can walk into a store and not hide behind a baggy coat and unisex sneakers.
Good luck to you, whatever you identify as.
Hi Skeleton100,
You are definitely an FTM TS, if you don’t mind me saying. Go for it you have nothing to lose…if your dad is open-minded, that’s all that matters since he supports you both financially and mentally. IMO it’s much easier for a girl to become a guy than the other way around…from what I’ve seen.
A girl can easily hide her womanly curves in a boy’s outfit, but a guy dressing as a girl conjures up your giraffe in a dress analogy…most of the time it’s a trainwreck….though there are some pretty boys that can definitely pull it off and some look way hotter than genetic females. 🙂
You sound pretty awesome-I never gave much thought to an ftm person (no offense)…but it’s an interesting idea. You’d be a guy but with the insights of a girl.
Thanks, I just identify as a male 99% of the time, but I’ve done some x-dressing in the past for fun. 😛
I should add I’m in my 40s, didn’t know you were so young but you should consider hormones at this time….your teens are even more important for a transgirl.
After WW2 ended, San Francisco was where a lot of military servicemen were discharged. Many of them knew they were gay, and they didn’t want to go back to Kansas or Oklahoma so they stayed in SF where they could live on their own terms, removed from the scrutiny and persecution they would have faced if they returned home.
As long as you’re living under your parents roof you’ll have to obey their rules. It sucks, I know, but it’s only temporary. Once you’re out of there you can be who you are and do things your way. Buy a Subaru, get a girlfriend and join a softball team if you’d like, but for the time being upsetting the Bible thumper s will probably only make your life worse.
Good Luck. You’ll be free eventually. 🙂
LOL. Dude, I’m lucky. I’ve got no curves (at least, not so far – hoping that I won’t get any). I’m thin but I’m pretty damn tall for a female. Now I’m trying to build my upper body to hide my chicken bone arms.
My dad’s open-minded as in, he doesn’t care if I dress like a guy and smell like a guy. He’d freak out if I went any further, as in pronoun changes or name changes, etc. Sucks, yeah.
You’re right, FTM transitions are much easier. Although several trans-girls pull it off really nicely. But yeah, I can walk into a store and try on guy jeans and no one looks twice. If people don’t look closely they assume I’m a skinny slacker who refuses to cut his hair (my mom won’t let me buzz it all off, and anything semi-short would look too girly, so I just wear it snarled and 90’s-ish)
MTF? It must be tough. Society doesn’t like femininity. A girl dressing as a guy is seen as grunge or tomboy, but the other way around is just spat at. Hell, at a store, my dad didn’t buy a pair of comfortable shoes just because they were “gay-looking.” Yes, he’s open-minded, but he’s also a secret homophobe/transphobe, whatever. Doesn’t understand it.
Good luck, secondlife.
You’re pretty wise for a 14 year old Sk100. Ya it’s probably better then to wait till you’re older till you fully transition-if that’s what you wanted to do. I was recommend hormones now so you don’t develop breasts, but whatever makes you feel comfortable.
You’re completely right-a girl who cross-dresses as a guy can usually get away with it, unless she’s really butch looking and that just turns people off. However if she looks tom-boyish, then she’s accepted. But yes, guys cannot get away with even being a little feminine looking…it’s pretty harsh the double-standard. I did regret being so public when I bought my women’s clothing…I’m naturally pretty shy to begin with so I was really going out of my way to pull it off. Well at that time I really felt like transitioning, so I was willing to take some flak for it.
I even photoshopped myself as the other gender and felt I had a long way to go-particularly body-wise. Putting the negatives together, I decided to just leave that dream aside. It’s tough enough for regular girls in society to function, let alone a guy that’s trying to pull off being a girl…unfortunately we’re not built that way. But I give credit to those that are able to pull it off.
Thanks and good luck also Skeleton100.
Hey, Skeleton.
If I were you, I wouldn’t reject your feminine part so quickly. Especially trying hormones would be crass when your personality is just creating. You’re only 14 and believe me, when I was at your age I didn’t look like a female at all. I disliked that whole stupid stuff with make up and I wore clothes that didn’t suit “a young lady as me”, lol. It changed with the passing time. There are things that only the time can bring. Everything changes with the passing time. I know it is cold comfort, but look – four or five years more and you will be able to do whatever you will like. Hold on for a moment; you don’t have to live up to your parents’ expectations, but don’t build a wall of anger inside your heart.
I am not trying to preachify; I’ve always had not-the-best relations with my family, but from the point I am now at I can see that they wanted only good for me, even if we consider “good” and “bad” in my family’s category, not mine.
LittleBead, I’m not going on hormones or any other shit any time soon. Yes, I’m only 14, too young to make huge concrete decisions like that.
I dress like a dude, try to act like a dude, etc. If this is some sort of phase, well, I’l be surprised. But I’m not doing anything permanent like hormones, at least not yet. Hey, if I wake up tomorrow and want to wear a dress and heels and put on more lipstick than the Joker, so be it. I’d have to buy all that shit first, but you get my point.
I like the idea of genderqueer. Whether I’m full blown transgender, well, I’m still figuring things out.
I’m comfortable as a guy.
Someone suggested hormones up there. I found it just unreasonable.
I always say that as long as you’re comfortable with yourself and you don’t hurt others, everything is fine.
My sis is 13 and she’s dressing like an adult woman (if you know what I mean…it is just dangerous because perverts get attracted)… No talking to her helped. Wouldn’t you mind if I got you and your family got my sister for some time? I’d accept you. 🙁
LOL, but adult women don’t dress that revealingly, now, do they. Maybe she’ll figure things out.
But I’m a guy, so I don’t know.
I’d say rebellious young art student way of dressing. But does it matter?
“Rebellious young art student” LOL. No, it doesn’t matter. I dress and act the way I want to. I look like a thin dude, no joke.
Who cares
Hey there.
I’m trans myself so I can see where your commin from.
Hard situation…I lived till i was 20 in my birth gender an never felt cool with it [23 now], and my mother is also super religious. Didnt talk to me for days when I told her and even now she keeps insulting me. Not the best but oh well.
Alot of people will either tell you “yes you are definatly trans” or “no dont rejext your birth side so quickly your wrong”. In my experience its best to ignore most other people comments except when you actually feel like you need it. Explore yourself. Work out what you want to be. You mentioned that you’ve never tried on male pronouns yet find the female ones to make you feel weird. Thats ok. Its ok to be confused over what you are. Maybe try them on see how they suit you. If you feel more comfortable with it cool, if not maybe try get your friends to use gender neutral pronouns instead.
I’ve found that people who are under 25 tend to be a bit more accepting of gender varient people these days. Its the older foalks who are a bit iffy.
An I dunno, if you can get your friends treating you how YOU want to be treated its a step. You can always change your mind later, but if you can get some close friends onboard with your gender discomfort maybe it will lesson some of the pain from ya mum.
Honestly I’d say that if you feel comfortable wearing guys clothes keep wearing them. No point making yourself feel uncomfortable. It eats away at you making you feel worse an worse.
Perhaps remind your mother an gran that society finds it “acceptable” for a girl to wear guys clothes [comparatively to a guy in a dress].
As for your dad any reason you cant move in with him? I’m assuming from your post that your parents are seperated. Since your dad seems ok with it he may be someone you can confide in. You dont need to tell him things like “dad i want to be a boy” that can come in time. Maybe for now see if he can talk to your mum about your clothing style. Dont know the situation so thats up to you to judge. But clothing is a step that i think needs to be taken and should, hopefully not be a very religious point.
As for hormones like other people have suggested. Well. Your 14, and fairly androgenous, so perhaps your biological hormones havnt fully kicked in yet. Since you can pass for male an that seems to please youd id say keep doing it. Hormones- espicially for FTM – are hard to reverse and honestly its a personal decision. If your bodys biological hormones start kicking in in force and you feel absolutly disgusting about it, maybe look into them. But honestly its a personal decision an your the only person who can.
idk where in the world you live but are there any transgender help centers you could get to? They may provide a feww counseling service which could be usefull for you in exploring your gender.
Hope thats somewhat helpfull. Feel free to message me back if ya wanna ask any other questions or anything yeah~ Hope your cool an take care of ya self yo
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