So basically i dont know what to do.
Ive had depression for a few years now. When i was about 8 my dad started to get drunk a lot and he would hit me randomly. At first i didnt care but as time went on he started to hit me more and harder. But when i was ten i told my dad i wanted to try boxing and then he stood up barely because he was drunk as fuck and he was like “so you want to do boxing?” Then he punched me as hard as he could and i cried a little and he punched me again and then he was like yeah you cant be a boxer you little *****. And he walked out as i layed on the ground in pain and cried. But then my stepmom moved out and his drinking only got worse. He would drink and drink and everytime i would talk to him he would be on his phone trying to talk to girls on facebook and would pretty much tell me to fuck off and leave him alone. Then he got fired and started drinking non stop all day and watch movies. When something would happen on the movie he would yell at the tv. Then one day i got a 60 in math and most parents might take there kids phone away or ground then or some shit like that but no my dad when we got home punched me in the back of the head and grabed my neck and slammed me on the ground and got in my face and started yelling at me and spittingin my face as he did and then i punched him in the jaw and then like he got really mad and started pucnhing me in the arms and shit and in the ribsand it hurt like hell but i didnt cry because he would beat the shit out of me some more. He wouldnt sign the report card because of that 60 so the teachers had to call him about it and he was so drunk the night before he forgot i had a sixty and beat me up for not showing him the report card and i was like no dad i did show you and he smacked me in the face for back talking. As the days went on it was the same shit he would beat me and beat me and get drunk and one day i got so mad at him and yelled at him and said i wanted to kill myself so he handed me the gun but all i did was cry and through the gun down and my dad called me a ***** ***** and punched me. So that night i slept under a bride that goes over a creek near my house. But i came back because im retarded and he got so mad and started pucnhing me and he broke my rib and i started crying and he pucnched me in the ribs again and i layed there in so much pain and he like didnt give a shit that he broke my rib i had to go a few months without even going to the doctor because apparently to him they cant do anything about it.but pretty much from then on out hes beat me and treated me like im worthless he doesnt let me do shit and he doesnt take me anywhere sober because hes drunk 24/7 but whatever. And not to long ago but over christmas break i had a friend over and i asked my siste if dhe could go get us some cokes and she was like ok but my dad wasnt okay with us “treating her like our slave” we asked her nicely if she could go get us a coke but i had had it with him i started yelling at him and shit and he swung a punch at me but i fortunaly moved out of the way and i punched him in the nose and he ran up picked me up and body slammed me. I was 5’1 at the time hes 6’0 so hes a little taller than me hes way bigger than me too so that shit hurt a lot and my friend didnt know what to do but i managed to get up and he punched me in the face so i left i opened the door as he punched me in the back. Fortunately enough for me my grandparents live three blocks away so i ran to there houseand they took me back home to get my friend and my stuff so i left. But i came back home again because i wanted to live at home but it was stupid my dads still a drunk and now he fucking stupid he sits in the living room and drinks and yells at me to go do shit for him it really hurt my feeling because he treats me lik i mean nothing literally nothing. And my grandparents take there anger for my dad out on him and me they all yell at me and shit like that and im tired of being yelled at its like the worst feeling ever and it feels like my fault. Im swear im done i just want to be over with this. i dont want to be here. And because of my dads consistent criticism of me i cant cry in public like i will run away from everyone and i also have social anxiety like i feel like everyone is gonna say bad shit about me like my dad does and i swear im done. Becase before all that i was normal i had a pretty okay life my dad and i would do everything thing and ar night i think of those times and cry because i know those days will never be back. Tbh my dads probably gonna die soon for over drinking and it sucks watching your dad die in front of me even if i hate him hes still my dad and it hurts so much and i just want it to be over.
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6 comments
That is a horrible situation to be in. There is nothing you can do for your dad, and if you keep living with him, he’ll continue taking out his issues on you, which you do NOT deserve. Do you have any other family members who might let you move in with them? If not, perhaps you should try talking to your school counselor about your issues at home, and maybe they could find suitable housing for you where you won’t have to deal with constant abuse.
I’m sorry you are going through that. Despite the abuse, you obviously care about your father which is understandable but the best thing might be for you to get out of that situation.
I feel like you are staying simply because he is your father and you want to somehow help turn him around but be careful about getting into that line of thought if that’s the case. Sticking by those you love is a wonderful quality to have but you shouldn’t have to endure being beaten and abused. There’s a point where you have to step away, as hard as that may be.
Make a list of witnesses of his abuse, talk to someone at your school, photograph bruises or better yet, show them to a counselor or someone in authority who can do something about it.
I hope how he has treated you doesn’t make you take your life, and I hope it doesn’t cause you to let others do the same to you later on in life if you can find a way to live.
Take care.
Horrible fuckin idiot he is. Yeah try other family members but if you talk to the councillor and he she tells your dad he will probably do worse to you. All it takes is one fucking hit and its over your dead gone
You really should not blame yourself, you’ve done literally nothing to deserve that kind of treatment, and I know he’s your dad and you love him, but it’s pretty clear he isn’t good for you. You need to accept that and do your best to get away from him, even if that means lying and putting on a face pretending you want something else simply to get results. You really do not want to stick around people like that who simply cannot help themselves and drag everyone else down, you’ll just become a miserable human being for a monster that wasnt worth the effort.
Damn bro try ta keep ya head up.
I’m sorry for what has happened. I don’t ask you to believe what I said, but prayer is powerful, it works a lot in my life. Even though he’s been harsh on you, you still love him, your heart is so warm <3333 Have you pray for your dad anyway?
Umm.. take care okay. I hope everything will turns fine and so as your dad.