Hello everybody.
In my other posts, I do not think I made myself as clear as I wanted to. To me it’s a miracle I’m still here. Still breathing. Still fighting. A couple of weeks ago, I lost my best friend. She said I was too sad for her well-being. How selfish can one be? How inconsiderate?
I’m not surprised I feel like this. I feel like I’m at the breaking point. I feel hopeless not only about my social life but also because of my skin condition. I haven’t mentioned this in the other posts. I have acne. Acne that I can cover up with makeup, but when I get home and have to take it off, I break down. I scream inside my head and I sob for a while.
I simply cannot go on. I’ve tried everything. I am the greatest friend I could ever be. I have nobody. I don’t even have myself. Maybe I’m writing this for attention. Maybe just cause I want to get it out. But either way, I’m not sure if it will make it better or worse.
In my next post I will be writing a poem. Thank you for reading.
2 comments
i’m sorry about what happened to your best friend, depression’s a *****( sorry if you don’t like cussing). life can be hard and frustrating. your friend was kinda selfish for doing that but that’s one of the things that suck about life. you never know what could happen nor whats going on in the people you loves head. but everything will be ok. one day you could be willing to jump off a bridge and another you could be feeling like your on top of the world. but everything will be better, just have some faith even if you don’t believe in any religions.
you say you fine when really you just want to cry,
you laugh when they call you a jerk but your really hurt,
you tell them your fine when deep down you just wanna die,
and lie with a smile while thinking why be a liar,
you can finish it if you want
My best friend stopped talking to me 2 weeks ago. He told me that I was stuck and not moving. That I obviously wasn’t trying hard enough and then he told me that if I wanted to kill myself so bad. Just go ahead and do it.
That night, I tried to kill myself 3 times but I couldn’t gather the courage. I couldn’t even cut which had come so easily before. I ended up falling asleep in the rain crying to myself hoping that some stranger would come stab me and steal my wallet or some angel would text me telling me that it would be okay but in the end. I was just alone.
We are all just alone aren’t we.