As I sit in my lonely room in this midnight…

You need some serious help.. not with a professional, iF ypu cant fin one.. but, someone that’s lived thru what you are describing (I found the best therapist at the free clinic!) If you only knew the childhood I had.. out of a horror movie. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. When you get a little older learn how to work your ass off.Many of us have overcome addictions, even at your age. Life is just really hard, bottom line.