I haven’t been on sp for a few weeks now. Not because I didn’t feel like I needed to; I did. I just couldn’t find the words I needed to let out. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it.
Admittedly, I did have a setback a few days ago… I tried to kill myself. I’d say I got to the point where one more push would have sent me over the edge, literally, but I didn’t do it. Just at that moment – by whatever sort of force of coincidence it was – I received a text from my grandma of all people, about what was for dinner on Sunday. And it stopped me. I don’t know why; it was the strangest thing. We’ve been having dinner at her house every Sunday since I was born, it was a bit of stability I guess, which was maybe why it stopped me, I’m not sure… But even now I don’t feel any particular increase in happiness or positivity so I’m not sure what happened exactly. I’m not even sure if I’m making sense right now..
I guess what I’m tying to say is; sometimes the smallest thing has the largest impact (very cliché I know – I’m not proud of it), but it’s true, at least it was for me in this case.
I’d also like to leave my contact details in case anyone would like to talk ????
keri.hunter714@gmail.com
2 comments
If you’d like, I could message you. Would be interesting to talk with a fresh perspective.
Yeah sure, just send me a message 🙂