I got everything in the mail finally. About 10 mins ago I used an extra shoe string to bend the nozzle on the helium tank so it remains open and provides a constant flow.
I had to purchase a couple of small plumbing fixtures to create an adapter to fit the hose on the tank. But I’ve got an airtight seal so there’s no leakage.
Ive already learned how to put on the mask and got it fitted just right.
So I’m ready to go. Now the next time I get sick. Instead of laying here in agony for 3 days, I’m OUT!!!
Special thanks to whoever posted the picture of how to do this. You’ve ended 9 years of horrible suffering!!
I’m so happy I don’t have to suffer anymore!
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WHAT?!?!?!?! NO!!!! Always remember- H.O.P.E: Hold On, Pain Ends.
for some the pain never ends. perhaps some are in situations to end their pain, and many have tried to without committing suicide.
Horseshit!
It is not horseshit…It’s true you just have to seek help…the help helps you find hope. Think of hide and seek-as in if you are seeking you need to find.
Did you even read my initial post? 9 YEARS!!!
There’s no help. There’s no relief. There’s only pain and misery!
This world is SHIT! People are SHIT! Life is SHIT!!
I’m just so glad I found an easy and painless way to do it. I’m having trouble not going ahead with it. Why wait for the pain? Why not do it now? If I don’t do it now, I won’t be able to until Monday. And if I get sick before Monday I’m screwed.
The good thing about this method is that when my wife finds me, there’s going to be a note explaining that she can hide all the apparatus and no one need know it was a suicide. As sick as I am, they’ll believe I just died. That way it won’t reflect so poorly on her. Although everyone knows I’m beyond miserable.
Does your wife know about your plan?
I agree. I’m not going to say whether you should kill yourself or not. Nobody deserves to suffer. If you feel this will end your pain. Look, I would rather pain be ended by staying alive and finding something(s) that will make life more bearable, but again, nobody deserves to suffer. I hope you don’t fail in this attempt, as you prob know that can make things alot worse. I am very sorry it comes to this
Of course not.
Well, it’s not always ‘of course’… in my relationships the other person knew when I was suicidal.
If it was me I don’t think I’d hide the cause of death. I’d be worried about getting into trouble if it was discovered that it was deliberate after lying. I guess maybe that’s just my own paranoia, but it wouldn’t seem right to lie.
If you’re still here, I hope you change the plan as it is, if not entirely. I understand your feeling the need to do it, but that sounds terrible for her on so many levels.
What kind of helium tank do you have? If it’s one of those party tanks, it is unlikely to do the job. The purity of gas is just not there. Really, I wouldn’t go with helium in the first place, but can’t get into specifics here.
You might be right krank. I’m gonna find out. If not, then I’ll get a tank of ********.
Don’t think I haven’t done my research. I’ve made an end bag also. But I recently stumbled upon this method and thought it had a better likelihood of success.
Stick around. I’ll talk to you more tomorrow. Right now it’s too late and I need to get up at 5 AM.
So what’s your situation — more specifically? Give me more details, if you could…
I had another episode Sunday morning that I’m still recovering from. I went and dug out my kit. But my wife caught me before I could get in the bathroom.
I knew I should have done it on Friday while she was at work. But it seems so much more justifiable when I’m suffering so horribly.
I suppose she took it all somewhere and trashed it all. But I’ll just buy it all again. There’s plenty of good hiding places and I know exactly what I’m doing now. I won’t make the same mistake again.
That’s three serious failed attempts in past three years. Next time is guaranteed!
There’s nothing any of you can say or do. I’m just here to make a public record of my final state of being. Since no one that I know cares.
That’s not true. My wife cares very much but she sees me suffering so horribly so often. There is no relief! Not even dilaudid touches the pain. 4 mg’s of dilaudid, NOTHING!!
So now after 6 years of trying the hospitals have decided it’s my fault and I’m just there for the narcotics. For the past three years I don’t even go to the ER anymore. I just lay here and suffer the most horrible pain for 2-3 days.
I have a way to make it stop. If I didn’t do this, I would eventually go into DKA and probably end up at the ER. I have to take suicidal quantities of my blood pressure meds. It eventually puts me to sleep. And when I wake up, I’m better. Except for the three more days of clonidine intoxication. Which entails absolute exhaustion. I can’t even try to get off the couch because my blood pressure is so low that when I stand up I instantly pass out and hit the floor and whatever is between my body and the floor. I’ve injured my right ankle due to it. So I don’t move. For at least three days. It’s truly a horrible state of being. I have absolutely no life.
Plus I haven’t worked in 10 years, so I have no friends, no companion. No one calling to see what I’m up to. Do I want to go somewhere, anywhere? EFFIN NOONE!!
I had worked consistently since I was 15 y/o, to 37. Only 37. I feel like such a leach on society. And especially my wife. I just absolutely hate myself and what I am. I’m absolutely NOTHING!! Just a burden to our entire society. If my wife didn’t have such great job and Heath insurance I’d be dead. Simple as that. We’ve still had to declare bankruptcy 5 years ago. But we’ve got all that and all current medical bills paid up. But we wouldn’t if I still went to the ER. So I guess that’s one good thing about me suffering at home. There’s a small victory, YEY!??
Just smoked a quick bowl. Was finally able to make it out back. Don’t smoke in the house. No matter what. That’s MY edict. Not the wifey’s. Although she’s very grateful.
Sorry about my tone in this pathetic thread. I certainly have nothing against any of you all. I appreciate all of the attempts at helping me in my desperation. It’s actually very noble of you all. So thank you all so much for at least pretending to care. I mean that!?
There’s just nothing but blackness. Desperately hopeless and helpless. I cannot help myself. The entire medical community has turned on me. It’s just blackness and being a burden to my wife and daughter. To me it’s truly sad. Just a waste of a life.
So I’ve finally gotten off of the couch and got to walk around the house. Would you believe that my wife didn’t throw away any of my kit!?! She must want me to die too. Just not in her presence I guess.