Pain

The sensation that deprive your mind of any kind of goal oriented thinking and at the same time produce a will for getting rid of itself. The way it is felt is immense and it takes over other feelings much like an orgasm. Although momentarily but lasts its mark on your body, soul or your heart. Whenever you get reminded of your pain, of any time, you immediately know what is the feeling and how you would feel if to endure that pain again….But pain unfortunately has a habit of being recurrent. Normally brain would push the pain of the past to the farthest corners of your memory, to be reminded of only in dreams as nightmares or when you are alone and have plenty of time to wander inside your brain.

A child fears the syringe needle…but same child when grow older would get reminded of pain he felt earlier, he expects it to be that immense but got surprised to see that the intensity of pain has reduced. With time the ability to endure pain increases. Same is true for happiness, but happiness diminishes much more faster. With time the joke you once laughed on, would not be laughable any more if you hear it twice or thrice…Unfortunately the ability of getting happy decrease with age too. We can easily forget happiness but Pain however is always ever lasting, it is a constant reminder in case the scenario got repeated or somehow your memory of a particular pain got reminded of. e.g: We would still remember the intensity of the pain of the needle although we learned that it does no hurt that much anymore. But same is not true for other types of pains, which are associated with emotions, the mental pain. Unfortunately, the ability of a person to forget this pain consciously does not exist; We can try ignoring it and eventually we learn to live with it. But pain is always there; while a moment of happiness is a thing to forget the moment it is over.

Many people are known to hurt themselves, consciously, in order to decrease the intensity of another pain. Sometimes a person with a painful heart find unable to bear the pain and cry with a deep wound as if the pain is torturing him. Such a person is unable to find happiness in small things and even if he finds some happy moments he is unable to keep himself happy and get reminded of the pain he endured even at the time of happiness. Such is the pain of the heart. Such a person is doomed and gloomy. He requires strength from his surrounding, friends, family everyone; even those to whom he feel pain is relating to. Only sensitive people are known to exhibit such behavior. Sensitivity of a person also decreases with age; but sensitivity of such a person would increase with age especially when he is lonely and would require great care by his friends and family. This reminds me of one of my dear friend who died when he was alone and committed accidental suicide while cutting his arm with a blade. For such a person hurting themselves with a blade cut or a cigarette burn would help them forget the pain of the heart for longer period of time. But at the same time the scars would serve as the constant reminder of the misery we have been through. It is actually seen that this really helps as a punishment or a negative reinforcement; the pain receptors in brain generate the signal with intensity as brain was not expecting a self harm causing a momentary sanity in such a person, to be able to forget the pain of heart and focus on the physical pain.

The essence of this life is to be able to endure pain with minimal happiness. The pain is already there; the fear of losing your loved ones is but a part of life…Even happiness of a new born life comes at a cost…There is very less auto-happiness in the world and we are forced to find happiness in new things because happiness associated with one thing is only momentary, the fear of losing something which gives you happiness, is constant. While that fear and the pain associated with it will always be there, when you will lose it the intensity of pain will increase at the cost of removal of fear but happiness will perish, in one way or another sooner or later.