As I watched my husband walk out of the door, leaving my daughter crying for him to “take me with you” or “don’t go daddy” it hit me like a brick. I was that little girl. I cried for my daddy to stay….. My husband has worked for almost 3 weeks straight. Nights. Not by choice. But tonight, his first night off, he chose to go to a sporting event. My daughter’s heart was/is broken. She cried for an hour, I cried with her. Unable to comfort her because I was hurting too. I tried to explain to my husband but he just got mad and told me he “deserved” to go.
I have pushed the darkness down for months. Here in the last few weeks it has began to bubble over. Tonight it boiled. I don’t want my daughter to hurt like I do. To hurt everyday but put on a happy face for everyone bc it is expected. Maybe if I’m gone it will force my husband to do better. To be better. So she won’t end up broken like me
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4 comments
If you take your life your daughter will cry an ocean of tears. That doesn’t strike me as a net benefit.
She is such a “daddy’s girl”. I’m just here. My poor son, he is already on MEDs at a young age. Neurologist says “can be genetics”. He didn’t have a chance. My gene pool is way fucked up…. He is the one I worry about if I go. He has been my only reason to stay this long
Your son’s fate is not sealed and neither is yours. Regardless of the advantages or disadvantages in his life, the important thing is how he learns to cope with what he has. He is learning his coping skills by observing you and your husband. Show him a better way. Be completely honest with your therapists. Ask for help openly. Accept help that is offered.
You are not weak for needing help. Your façade serves no good purpose. Accept your human frailty. Demonstrate to your son and daughter that you have the courage to love yourself, warts and all, and they will have a better chance to transcend their own limitations.
Please don’t go anywhere. She might be a daddy’s girl but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a huge place in her life. Unfortunately children often seem to get more emotionally attached to one parent, and often the less available one. She’ll learn to value you more over time. Like you, she’s focusing on the person causing her pain – because he isn’t there. If you weren’t there, it would be another loss for her; a huge loss, which would follow her through life.
Given that he’s already hurting her, I wouldn’t take the chance of leaving her with him if there’s any other way you can make it through this. Please try. You play a much bigger role in your children’s lives than you can see right now.