depressed but hopefull

I’ve read your story a few times over the years Tristeza and it always strikes me the same, in that it resonates with both familiarity and heartfelt pain. I endured abuse, yes, but not at the hands of “family”. I like to forget it and downright repress those memories… but truth be told — I almost became a fully-fledged monster like those who perpetuated those heinous acts against me. I spent many years thinking that outright abuse and suffering, a lack of any kind of affection, was all I would ever hope for from another. I did my best to love, but how could I understand love borne of pure hatred and sadism? I was dead inside for so fuckin’ long.

I came back. I don’t know how, but I did.

I just wanted you, jano and everyone else who’s suffered this kind of abuse to know that I’ve been there too. That I’ve felt, and still feel, the pain that y’all do. One day it’ll be over. An end to all our suffering. Until that day, let’s find strength in each other. Thank you all for sharing your stories, however horrible they are in content.