Wanna know something I’ve never admitted before now? I’m not scared of the darkness inside me. It’s comfortable, familiar, but I’m terrified of the pure. It’s in there somewhere and I swear it’s so bright It washes over everything else until it’s all I can see, and it it’s in love with everyone. Honestly I just want so bad to embrace it but I think it has the power to destroy the rest of me. It feels like my choices are to watch myself destroy my own life like I always do, or die in a barrage of change, and I’m too much of a coward to chose either one.
I guess I don’t care if you think I’m strange or overemotional. I mean what the hell, isn’t this why I created the account? In the hopes that one day after I’m gone someone would launch into some unjustified investigation and discover the true heart of who I was? Here it is then, I was always crying just out of view over a combination of everything and nothing at all.
4 comments
I understand what you’re saying. I don’t really have much to say back, but I wanted you to know that I completely know what you’re saying. Hoping for the best for you.
I know that light. I know it, or, I used to. Please, please run into it’s arms.
I know I might sound like a crazy person right now, but I know exactly what you’re talking about. I was blinded by its brilliance years ago, and it killed the person I was. It did. Put her to death.
But the best part? I don’t miss her. I don’t miss her at all.
And you won’t miss the person that the light kills either. Believe me, please.
This is the most incredible thing I’ve ever read on here.
It kills who you are, but it replaces that person with someone so much better.
You aren’t over emotional. I used to have that darkness inside of me. I wanted to ruin the world. I totally get it.