Last year I had lost my virginity to a guy I loved for a year. I am quite young as well. But anyway I lost it and he left me saying. “Good luck *****.” Then blocked me leaving me there crying. My whole family learned about the situation soon after and ever since then they haven’t treated me the same. My grandma asking me why I can’t be more like my cousin who stole my boyfriend 3x letting him cheat on me with her. And soon after I started to have a crush on this guy and she also told my best friend who through this giant fit about it. And blocked me. It just shows I can’t even trust my family any more. I can’t trust my friends. Who do I trust? I just want to be accepted for who I am……..
I’ve been taking at least 5 tylenols and 5 benadryls and 5 ibuprofens a night ever since then. Last night I took some back pain killers that were prescription to my uncle and I took 4 along side the other things I’ve been taking. This morning I couldn’t get up without collapsing back into bed and falling back asleep. I felt so numb and I was scared that I wasn’t going to wake up. Like I want to commit suicide at some point but it scares me so much. Just the thought of never knowing what could happen.
3 comments
Sweet girl, you are going through the teen years, I would guess. I had a similar situation when I lost my virginity at age 20 to someone I was engaged to. He called me a whore, even though he’d been trying to get me to ‘go all the way’ for 4 years.
Sometimes we end up with the wrong guy.
Then I found out that he’d been sleeping with other girls while engaged to me. I ask you ‘who is the whore?’ Most certainly, not me. At least I was faithful.
As to your family, they should be supporting you, not distancing from you. And your girlfriend … I had one of that kind too. She crept in and stole a great guy from me in high school.
Your boyfriend who blocked you is a total jerk! He didn’t deserve you in the first place. But hey, you don’t have to go through losing your virginity again. That’s a weight off. If a man insists on marrying a virgin, he needs to go back in time to the dark ages. You are fine and good. Do not let
anyone tell you otherwise.
I know life is confusing and horrid for you now, but it can get better. That you are having these difficult feelings is proof that you are a good person and worthy of far better support than you are presently getting.
I’m older now, but I’ve been through similar happenings. Please hang in there and survive. If you want to communicate more, you can email klh@earthlink.net .
Sending love and a big nurturing hug,
Vedura
At the risk of sounding like a parent… mixing pills is a bad idea. I dont know whats in tylenol or benadryl (we dont have them in australia), but too many ibuprofen can give u stomach ulcers.
Not to mention the whole addiction thing, im about 27 years into my drug taking and trying to get clean. Its hard. So just be careful.
As far as douche bag guys are concerned, im afraid thats all part of growing up. Im a guy and all my female friends over the years have had dickhead guys in their past.
So just take it easy and be kind to urself if no one else will. You will be fine.
Wow, that’s quite the story. What can I say?
Sounds like your grandma is an idiot whom you shouldn’t open up to, your boyfriend who was your first time is just…dirt, and the others too.
In other words, there is nothing unusual about your situation.
You are young still, and if you can become sophisticated enough to know who you can and can’t trust, realizing that most will probably fit in the latter category, you will navigate this crazy world well.
May this be the time you realize the lessons of all this shit.