Mom

Mom
If you only knew all of the things I want to say to you
I’m hanging onto life by a thread
I want help but I can’t get it if I’m only looking for attention
Mom
The feelings that I feel are stronger than you think
So I block all emotions to believe I’m okay
Mom
Every night I break down because I’m tired of telling myself that it’s going to be okay
The whole world is going to shit and we are just in the middle of all of it
Mom
Even though I’m smiling doesn’t mean it will last forever
There are better people in this world who deserve to smile
Mom
I used to hate myself because of my skin color
Fearing the outside world wouldn’t accept me even though it’s 2016
Mom
I found it hard to find light in these dark situations
If I were to try to kill myself tonight
Mom
I can’t because I would guilt being so selfish in a world where all people care about is money
Mom
I know you aren’t going to see this but I really wish you could
It’s an easier way to express my emotions rather face to face
Mom
If you leave just know that I promise that I will be right behind you