I went to sleep early 2 days ago and I woke up tired. I went to sleep at like midnight last night, and I’m not as tired as I was 2 days ago but I’m still tired. I was doing homework and I fell asleep, and woke up 3 hours later. I told my mom that I just wanted to sleep all day, and she told me, that’s one of the side effects of depression. Yeah she’s right, but I still can’t keep sleeping because I have to go to school. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I want to close my eyes and never wake up again. But lately, I find myself waking up at 3-4 in the morning and can’t fully go back to sleep. So that’s the time I realized that I’m still alive and breathing, sadly. :'(
4 comments
You have a great mom if she realized your sleeping was a sign of depression. If you ever get in a hole you can’t get out of, remember that you can reach out to her for help, don’t forget! You need endorphins and dopamine. Go outside. Go bike riding, go for a jog. Sleep when its appropiate, too much sleep is detrimental to your health. I’m having one of those days I want to stay home because I feel so tired but I keep procrastinating and don’t want to do anything. But I’m gonna get myself up one way or another and gonna start with a second cup of coffee and a cold shower. I need a reboot and you could probably use one too.
If I try talking to her about my depression she would send me to the hospital, because she cares. But her caring is making me worse. And because of my depression and suicidal thoughts, she doesn’t let me go anywhere alone, only to school which is like a block away. I try to sleep but with all my school work its impossible. I feel like doing nothing all day all the time. It’s impossible to do basically anything that I have been willing to do.
Hi. Your mom sounds really amazing. Honestly I kind of understand why she wouldn’t want you to go places by your self. But I also understand your need to have just a little bit of freedom. I don’t sleep much either. Usually wake up at around four every night. I too want to go to sleep and never wake up. I think about this every night. I hope you find peace.
There is no way in leaving her sight. It’s been like this for the past 5 months. I have barely had any time alone.