I’m 16 years old. My life is absolutely shit. Everyday I’m made fun of by peers and family. The one girl I loved hates me now, I have no friends and my grades are slipping. I cut my wrists every night as well. My story on how all this happened starts freshman year. I was popular the start of freshman year, I was doing great. I hung out with a lot of different people and I was well happy for once. But then I started to get into fights with people like throwing fists kind of fights. After that everything changed and I do not know why. I started to get text messages with insults, my social media pages started to flare up until the point I had to delete all of my accounts. This eventually died down and that’s when the best worst thing happened to me. I met the girl that I felt I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, this happened around the start of second semester grade ten. Most people would think I’m too young to know what I want but I’m really not.. I really liked this girl and I respected her and treated her well. She did the same to me we were happy for awhile until she broke up with me out of the blue. Insults started to come my way again and I started to just stay home and lay in bed. I’ve always had mental health issues but lately I have been feeling different. I just cannot get the thought out of my head. I’ve tried to hand myself once already and that only brought more hate and laughter. It seems they wont stop they wont care until I’m actually dead. It doesn’t matter though. There is not anything for me anymore. No future, no goals, no hopes and no dreams. Sometimes a person just gets pushed over the edge. But there is that thought again. I stay up all night most days just thinking up ways on how to end my life and if anybody would truly care. I feel that suicide is the only option, there’s no other way to make my pain, my hate go away. I just cant take anymore, there’s so much pain in my life and there isn’t any words to describe how much I am hurting. I just wish somebody would help me and say enough is enough but that wont ever happen. I wish anybody else having my issue luck because by the time you read this I will most likely be in a body bag. I’ve already expressed that I have given up any and all hope and I’m not really sure how to end this so I will simply say this.
People truly are fucked up.
3 comments
I am so sorry that you have experienced so much pain. You are still so young. Do you think that when you are out of high school that it would make you feel better? Have you talked to your mom and dad? Or maybe someone else that you feel safe with? I hope that you are able to start feeling better. My husband has just dumped my kids and me, so it can be so painful I know. No pain like it. Prayers for you.
Frankly, I hope you’re still with us. Things can get better. You should talk to your parents or perhaps a school counselor. Bullying is unacceptable and they can help. Certainly the bullying can be addressed on the school front if not the parental route. You might also want to see a doctor, prolonged depression can be a medical condition and can be treated with good outcomes for many.
I would also encourage you to not take any weighty actions while tired (or high if applicable) so you are able to think with maximum clarity.
I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with those jerks. Sad that we sometimes go through life all pushing each other down rather than lifting each other up. Things really truly can get better though, no matter how dark it seems.
I know how you feel. Sometimes we just have to stand on our own, no two ways around it.