They tell you to seek help, but your dead before you get

It took me long enough to seek help but it’s taking forever to actually get any! I feel like I’ll end it before I get on top of that ‘waiting list.’ So frustrating. I’m done. Only getting help because I love my family but I really can’t wait this long. I’m so tired. Going back to that bottle of whiskey. Atleast it’s of some comfort. Helps me ‘keep up appearances.’