it’s almost 5am. i’m sitting in my room fascinated by suicide. and really struggling right now. i could go to sleep – but i can’t. not because i won’t fall asleep, but because i’m still in battle. i’m afraid of waking up tomorrow morning and continuing the cycle. something’s telling me to end it all right now. i can’t go through another day like this. in loneliness that surroundes me and takes me away..
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I wish it could be known who is lonely, and then everyone in the state, country, etc who is lonely could become friends with one another so their loneliness could be minimized. but until that happens, for now *hug* I may be hours even days away from you, but I share in your pain and I experience some of your thoughts so I care for you, and if you happen to die tonight….just know that you had died a warrior, and while the people around you may not be proud of your action, the rest of us outsiders understand that sometimes the opposite battle of life can kill the misfortunate souls, we’re proud of how big of a warrior you are. Just know…
i’m still alive, unfortunately. but your kind words had made me feel a little better. it’s so rare for people to be empathic, thank you
You are literally my twin right now. Sitting in bed, getting high off some pills to numb the pain (no work tomorrow so i really just want to eat the whole bottle and try to od again. Only problem is i know ill wake up high..blacked out…and end up doing weird stuff that i will not end up remembering. But those outside this room will be there to inform me. God, Black outs are the worst) i wish i had the balls to try another method right now. Onky thing stopping me is failure and damaging myself somehow. I nees to get to the point of not caring about that part. Then it will be enough to do literally any method. Hi by the way. I hate my life so much.
haven’t had a black out in years.. i’m just hitting the j