So panicked lately. Is it bad that the only way I don’t feel panicked is massive denial? I find myself pushing everything away and pretending it doesn’t exist because the minute I let my mind wander I start to shut down and spiral into insanity. I won’t think about my depression. I won’t think about talking to my parents about deferring acceptances to college and if they’ll hate me because of it or it won’t work out. I refuse to think about the fact that I can’t feel anything and when I can feel something it’s a gaping hole and sense of dread in my chest and picturing me killing myself over and over again . When I’m in complete denial, sometimes I’m actually ok. But is that good?
1 comment
You already know the answer to your question.
It’s not good in the sense that it is not helpful to you.
At some point in time you’re going to need to deal with those problems. I suggest you do it little by little. At your own rhythm.
I anticipate, you will have a lot of figuring-out-things to do.
Like for example try to understand WHY you don’t want to go to college and what you would rather do instead and figure out the viable options for you.