I did go down to get my mail a couple of times and went to Target 2x to get some food, but other than that, I haven’t gone outside for about 2.5 weeks now.
I don’t really have real food in my apt (ate chips for breakfast, yeah bad I know) and logically I ought to go out and get food, but it requires energy and effort. I have chronic fatigue and foot issues so it’s always hard and physically painful on my feet to get out.
It’s much more comfortable staying in, but
Staying in = no real food (I can order but the food isn’t the healthiest and it get expensive).
Staying in = no change
Staying in = no life
Staying in = depressing
Going out = foot pain
Going out = potentially dealing with shitty people who harrass me for no reason
Going out = takes energy
Going out = FOOD
Going out = getting proper light and natural vitamin D production
I almost stepped out today but then realized the food place I wanted to get to is by the other B12 place that I go to on Wednesdays (which I’ve skipped 2x in a row thanks to uber), and not the one that’s open on Saturdays (there’s 2 locations near me).
Anyhoo, I’m a shut in. I have no life. I have no friends. My only contact with humans is on SP basically.
Oh, I do have cucumbers and blueberries, so I guess I’ll eat that today and tomorrow.
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Are you bouncing off the walls yet?
nah, that takes too much energy. in bed, watching youtube and playing games with my kindle. and thinking of food. i guess technically i have the ingredients to make a salad. But…. me wants pizza! and cake! and eat all the bad stuff. why bad stuff taste SO good?
Lol. Yeah, the good tasting stuff is so bad.
I’m sort of house bound also, but I get out just a bit. I actually looked up a recipe for a kale salad, which isn’t bad. I don’t cook, unless it involves putting something in the microwave, but I haven’t been doing much of anything healthy for a while now. My recliner is getting a good workout, and my cats must be wondering why I don’t leave.
I can’t help going out. They’re my dope, my cope. Walking against people, observing who gives me way and who is oblivious of the potential head-on (people seem do that unconsciously and according to their nature. Subtler/conscious ones change position while being 10 feet away; some move their shoulder JUST before collision; hardened ones don’t move at all.) Watching people’s faces, their activities and emotions. Sometimes I look up at sky in the hope of seeing a giant meteor heading towards us or a black hole opening out of nowhere.
I’m sending my shut-in roommate grocery shopping for me. This is a first. But I refuse to leave the apartment except for work. Work has got awkward – the last few days, it’s like I’m walking under a dark cloud and everyone’s afraid of rain. I can’t blame them. My face looks weird.
I am really a bit of a hermit