Not at all. You’re just testing the dimensions of your cage, which is normal for every trapped beast. I hope you find freedom in more life-affirming ways.
I know u’ll probably hate me for saying this
but
Thank God …
huh 😮
that’s one big sigh of relief, cause I wasn’t only worried about you going but also about the side-effects if things didn’t workout as you planned… I’ve been reading about it all morning… not nice 🙁
well, if not knowing how to cook H is a “loser” quality… I can assure you,
probably more than half of the world population are losers…
so don’t worry, you’re not alone at this
I’m a loser too in that sense 😀
@lostallhope001 ive read a bunch of your post the first day i saw sp, efter reading a bunch of stories on here(mainly seeking for a method) , i read yours. Your post persuaded me join. Not because i wanted to help you, but because yyou seemed to be in the same mind frame as me. I want to die, truely i do. I also have little to no confidence in myself to do anything. I have no drive. I just want death. So when i read you last few posts all i wanted to be able to do was talk to you.
@missyouloveyou why do you want to die so badly? I want death too.. When I wake up in the morning I am so fucking pissed that I have to go through another day like why didn’t I just die in my sleep WHY
okay, never mind my essay
it’s too long & too boring anyway
In any case, my next line would still be the same…
in Your description of “a bad person”
does this person “willingly choose” not to care for anybody but themselves?
do they “consciously decide” not to be willing to do anything for others?
@farah, yes and no. Choosing to care about others only probably by impulse. Instinctively nataurally NOT caring or thinking about, in a conscience mind, to be caring for others. She simply does care because she cant, and if she does its by impulse. This was probably a derivative from the past, or disablement.
“i care for someone when i give them something they need. I feel care when recieving and giving the emotion of empathy.
With that said, in her mind shes a bad person, she only thinks about herself, no one else not you, not me. In todays society thats label as rude, unacceptable, and down right wrong. However thats society, and we owe no fucking obligation to what others think or expect! As it goes, “id rather die for what i believe than live life without meaning. ” Doesnt change someones mind not the slightest bit. Please excuse my language, and @lostallhope001 i dont mean to speak for you, tell me im wrong if i am.
okay
I really appreciate your input
but I disagree
you care for someone SO you give them something they need
[Emotion]—————–[Action]
Giving is the action
Caring or not caring is the emotion [or lack of]
This is actually one of my main points to her
Let’s imagine
[Lack of Emotion]—————–[Action]
you “don’t care” for someone YET you give them something they need
[because you know,
logically/derivative-ly
that this is the right/moral/good/helpful thing to do
& you have
previously / instantly [at that moment]
made a conscious decision
again based on logic/derivation
to be/act
righteous[ly] / moral[ly] / good/well / helpful[ly] ]
The “lack of emotion” does not make you a bad person
most most specially if it’s Not Your Choice that you lack these emotions
as long as you have control over your actions & your actions are 100% your choice
then
your action is what determines your status / description
in this particular situation / event
[in a more extreme case, if you also had no control over your actions, then you are not to be blamed if you act badly & you are not a bad person because it’s Not Your Choice]
Ahhh i see what youre saying more clearly, giving being the adverse word the emotion. However “caring” for someone by definition can also explaing the action. But i do understand what you mean. Either she cares by choice or not. And if not its not her choice, its not her fault. Which i agree she may need to understand that she isnt a bad person(in my eyes) she is amazing, in her own way, in ways that some highly accepted people wouldnt even turn me away from. She has the drive of a tiger, when it comes to wanting to pass right now. She simply has great qualities as a human.
@lostallhope001
Why do i want to die so badly? Thats kinda difficult to answer but ill try.
Well many reasons honestly, i cant live with who i am as a person. Im not of use to anyone or anything. I have addiction i cant break. I have disablements that hold me back from being that of a “normal” person. Ive lost everyone i cared for. I fucked up on just about everything. I lose interest in everything. I long for companionship but never recieve it. Practically just get broken down piece by piece every time i try. I have no confidence or drive anymore. All i do is sit and recieve information from my senses and respond with what i think is a well understanded statement. I have secrets, dark ones, that will never surface, force to ball up and drive me into insanity. My health is horrible so at times i can hardly breath, ive lost too much weight because i havent been eating. But above all of this, the one true reason simply is that, i dont belong here.
25 comments
Have you heard from her? :/ <3
not until NOV 25, 2017 @ 05:44:20
🙂
God, I’m so relieved
<3
Thank you for asking about her too <3
Thank you for the sweet replies, I am sorry I am a girl of not many words, I wish I was
I swear I was thinking about you right now <3 <3 <3
@ lostallhope001
love you don’t need to say anyyyything
just please read what I wrote you…
It’s enough for me that you read it…
I was hoping you had read it before attempting
I was too late 🙁
@ lostallhope001
believe me
I don’t want to bother you
or to put any extra pressure
than what you’r already dealing with
if you feel okay
to speak about this…
can you tell me what happened yesterday…
?
Well actually nothing happened, I couldn’t get the H cooked properly I feel like such a loser
Not at all. You’re just testing the dimensions of your cage, which is normal for every trapped beast. I hope you find freedom in more life-affirming ways.
I know u’ll probably hate me for saying this
but
Thank God …
huh 😮
that’s one big sigh of relief, cause I wasn’t only worried about you going but also about the side-effects if things didn’t workout as you planned… I’ve been reading about it all morning… not nice 🙁
well, if not knowing how to cook H is a “loser” quality… I can assure you,
probably more than half of the world population are losers…
so don’t worry, you’re not alone at this
I’m a loser too in that sense 😀
Damn if only I was such a good and nice person as you
that right there
is my main “point of conflict” with you
you Are such a good & nice person
you just don’t want to see it
& even when you do
you refuse to believe it… 🙁
it’s like you’re [literally] “dead-set” on hating yourself
& I just can’t figure out
why? 🙁
@lostallhope001 ive read a bunch of your post the first day i saw sp, efter reading a bunch of stories on here(mainly seeking for a method) , i read yours. Your post persuaded me join. Not because i wanted to help you, but because yyou seemed to be in the same mind frame as me. I want to die, truely i do. I also have little to no confidence in myself to do anything. I have no drive. I just want death. So when i read you last few posts all i wanted to be able to do was talk to you.
Believe me Farah, I am a very very very bad person
@missyouloveyou why do you want to die so badly? I want death too.. When I wake up in the morning I am so fucking pissed that I have to go through another day like why didn’t I just die in my sleep WHY
can I ask you a question…
in your opinion…
what makes “a bad person”?
how would “a bad person” be described?
Somebody who doesn’t care for anybody but herself. Somebody who is not willing to do NOTHING for others
okay, just so as not to bore you with reading something you already read
did you read my “essay” on your post?
okay, never mind my essay
it’s too long & too boring anyway
In any case, my next line would still be the same…
in Your description of “a bad person”
does this person “willingly choose” not to care for anybody but themselves?
do they “consciously decide” not to be willing to do anything for others?
@farah, yes and no. Choosing to care about others only probably by impulse. Instinctively nataurally NOT caring or thinking about, in a conscience mind, to be caring for others. She simply does care because she cant, and if she does its by impulse. This was probably a derivative from the past, or disablement.
Doesnt because she cant*
then it’s not her fault that she doesn’t care
because [as you said] she can’t…
how can someone born with a nature incapable of something
be called “a bad person” for it… ?
I understand calling a person “bad”
when they willingly, “100%”, choose to do more bad actions than good ones in every given opportunity…
she’s not choosing
not to mention that “caring” is only an emotion
it’s not an “action”
Caring is an emotion and action,
“i care for someone when i give them something they need. I feel care when recieving and giving the emotion of empathy.
With that said, in her mind shes a bad person, she only thinks about herself, no one else not you, not me. In todays society thats label as rude, unacceptable, and down right wrong. However thats society, and we owe no fucking obligation to what others think or expect! As it goes, “id rather die for what i believe than live life without meaning. ” Doesnt change someones mind not the slightest bit. Please excuse my language, and @lostallhope001 i dont mean to speak for you, tell me im wrong if i am.
okay
I really appreciate your input
but I disagree
you care for someone SO you give them something they need
[Emotion]—————–[Action]
Giving is the action
Caring or not caring is the emotion [or lack of]
This is actually one of my main points to her
Let’s imagine
[Lack of Emotion]—————–[Action]
you “don’t care” for someone YET you give them something they need
[because you know,
logically/derivative-ly
that this is the right/moral/good/helpful thing to do
& you have
previously / instantly [at that moment]
made a conscious decision
again based on logic/derivation
to be/act
righteous[ly] / moral[ly] / good/well / helpful[ly] ]
The “lack of emotion” does not make you a bad person
most most specially if it’s Not Your Choice that you lack these emotions
as long as you have control over your actions & your actions are 100% your choice
then
your action is what determines your status / description
in this particular situation / event
[in a more extreme case, if you also had no control over your actions, then you are not to be blamed if you act badly & you are not a bad person because it’s Not Your Choice]
Ahhh i see what youre saying more clearly, giving being the adverse word the emotion. However “caring” for someone by definition can also explaing the action. But i do understand what you mean. Either she cares by choice or not. And if not its not her choice, its not her fault. Which i agree she may need to understand that she isnt a bad person(in my eyes) she is amazing, in her own way, in ways that some highly accepted people wouldnt even turn me away from. She has the drive of a tiger, when it comes to wanting to pass right now. She simply has great qualities as a human.
@lostallhope001
@lostallhope001
Why do i want to die so badly? Thats kinda difficult to answer but ill try.
Well many reasons honestly, i cant live with who i am as a person. Im not of use to anyone or anything. I have addiction i cant break. I have disablements that hold me back from being that of a “normal” person. Ive lost everyone i cared for. I fucked up on just about everything. I lose interest in everything. I long for companionship but never recieve it. Practically just get broken down piece by piece every time i try. I have no confidence or drive anymore. All i do is sit and recieve information from my senses and respond with what i think is a well understanded statement. I have secrets, dark ones, that will never surface, force to ball up and drive me into insanity. My health is horrible so at times i can hardly breath, ive lost too much weight because i havent been eating. But above all of this, the one true reason simply is that, i dont belong here.