I am a newcomer to this website, I have been browsing this site but it is my first time actually making an account. I have been suicidal for as long as I can remember and I’ve tried killing myself several times (won’t mention methods). I feel trapped more and more after each attempt, so I guess I have no choice but to deal with it. I do not want to make this a long post but I don’t feel like living. I learned in recent years I can’t be open about suicide and me wanting to kill myself because the police will just treat me like a criminal again and send me off to the ward which is just jail for suicidal people and without worry of being raped. By the way, as far as my experience is concerned, cops don’t care about you as a suicidal individual. They take you to the ward and drop you off. I much rather have an EMT, at least they have some knowledge on suicide I would believe.
Where I’m at right now is being a teen student majoring in comp sci, I decided to apply for an internship at a company that contributes a lot to my cities economy. Part of me doesn’t want to get the job because then, it will make me feel more like a loser and push to suicide again even further. Obviously if I get the job, it’s a good thing. But, seeing things now, I’m probably going to get rejected despite meeting all the requirements and on top of me doing projects and hackathons. If I do get rejected, hopefully I can kill myself successfully (method classified) once I get rejected. I’ve always been considered a loser in my city anyway.
Hopefully I didn’t violate the rules with this post, let me know if I did. Sorry if so.
7 comments
I don’t see any rule violations, although the “M” word is often spelled “me+hod” to avoid detection by the +hough+ police.
Comp Sci, sounds complicated. Back in ancient times I dabbled in pc’s and the like as part of my job and found myself in awe of those who excel at it.
Welcome to SP, there are doughnuts and beverages in the break room.
Oh it has an algorithm, that’s interesting.
Certain swear words will also display as asterisks, like **** and ***** and sometimes ****. 😉
Thanks for the laugh. Also ******* and ******** display as asterisks.
Welcome TrappedKid. That user name would describe something almost every one us has here.
Yeah, that is why I chose it. 🙂
Welcome to the front line TrappedKid. Like the Armed Forces, we are a united front and family. Bonus- you don’t have to pass any physical testing or do an atrocious amount of cardio to be included. 😉