I’m alive today, I am 23 years old and I am alive. I joined this page when I was 16, depressed and hopeless I continued to be suicidal. I moved across the country at 19, I was jobless living off my partner, tired, depressed and hopeless. I just got a job after 3 years of making bullshit money here and there doing side jobs. I am DRAINED, I work for 14 hours and day, sometimes more. I am content with life but still have depression, I knew it wasn’t going to just “go away” it doesn’t work like that. People kept saying “once you have a job you won’t have time to think about that” but I do. I drive 45 minutes to and from work and when I’m on the part of the mountains where I could fly off and down thousands of feet I think to myself “should I?” Or I zone out thinking of ways I could die And then I am able to bring myself back, I am able to think clearly about the people that love me, the pets at home that depend on me and I can’t help but feel guilty for having suicidal thoughts. Has anyone experienced that? Feeling suicidal and thinking of killing your self and quickly snapping out of it and feeling guilty about thinking that way? I’m just so tired, I want to sleep all the time and I at work I am treated like a peasant because they are rich and I am poor.
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7 comments
Keep up with the hard work and you will be fine.
Your feelings will stabilize when your financial state will stabilize and the stress will be lowered.
Your thoughts are normal, and snapping out of it due to guilt feeling is pretty normal as much as I read here. This shouldn’t be your way, but just know it is common.
That’s the thing I am financially stable as I am making up to $1200 a week cash but I still feel like such a loser.
Yeah. you work 14 hours a day. this might not be enough to quit or to get something more normal or good?
It also doesn’t let you do things you like or fulfill being alive. Because you basically work all day.
This is good that you are being challenged and the you are working so much. But start planning your future. It will give you a purpose. And then start going by your plan, you will like you have a meaning.
Ans also learn that there are feelings that will never go away. You have to learn to cope with them in a healthy way!
If I were you I would save as much as possible for 3 to 4 months and then quit. Look for something that fits better to a life where you can find more enjoyment and sleep. Money isn’t everything. Sometimes it’s absolutely nothing.
And yes. I also find myself thinking about suicide as I drift off and when I get back to reality I feel guilty. It’s nothing to feel guilty about though.
Yeah. I feel like you. I don’t want to leave my friends, and that’s why I’m alive.
I guess it’s sad that suicidal people are usually poor and treated as horseshit but there’s nothing much you can do about it