I keep thinking about how my life would end and what other things I’d to prepare for it.
My mind keeps running in circles on whether or not I’d leave a goodbye note or just disappear without telling anyone. I’m afraid they’ll talk me out of and then I’ll have to face them later. I wouldn’t want someone to think they caused it but I want to tell them that they’ve been good to me.
I’d want to die quickly. I keep replaying a gunshot as the way I’d go I can imagine the barrel of the gun against my head and all (as you can tell I’ve never actually held a gun before), but the only real option I have is the train. It’s very close to my house and all I have to do is climb over a fence and through a very small foresty section. I know it works cause someone has done it before. I’m rarely home when it passes but I’ve checked the schedule and it passes around late night on Fridays so I’ll probably do it then. The problem is getting off my lazy ass and out of the house past my parents.
5 comments
Please be sure you have thoroughly thought ending things through. What is it that has caused you such despair?
It sounds to me like you care about your friends and family. I don’t want to come across as condemning you but (as someone who has also considered using a train as the way out) maybe you should hold off on using something so brutal.
The way you are when you die is the last image your loved ones will have of you. I would never recommend something that would leave such an awful image for them.
In fact, I get the feeling you and I have similar reactions to things. If you want to talk stuff out, feel free to contact me here: blackbox3717@gmail. com
They may not only talk you out of it, but use force
So this is just a warning
If you don’t have a method available or are not 100% set on it, disclosing your feelings could land you in endless years on psychiatric watch and on medication
It is whichever way you want
Just don’t want things to get worse for you, my man.
I had all my guns confiscated by the family because they know I’m thinking about offing myself. Pissed me off so I have an alternate off of myself. Argon. Less messy. For you, I’d suggest you don’t say a thing about doing yourself in because family just might had you put in a physc ward like they did me. God awful drugs and stuipid shrinks poking around your skull. Best to stay silent and do your deed as you see fit. That part of our lives is hard to manage but when the time is right no one else needs to know. Oh my god the crap the family or others think and do to try and save you can be brutally more bad that you don’t need. We have a hard enough time just keep that gun barrel off our skull. Y