I’m a fairly talkative person, depending on my mood. But I somehow, always make friends with the quiet ones. I feel like talkative people can be draining (and while I immensely enjoy their presence at times, I probably have not enough energy capacity to keep up with one).
Having said that, let’s talk about my quiet friends. These are the ones that I’m usually attracted to. The ones I tend to form a friendship with but later down the line decides that we’re better off not talking to each other every single day. It’s for the best if they can’t stand me.
The ones that would just leave you on blueticks cause they’re busy (which is why I tend to cut them off cause I am somehow too immature to understand that on a subconscious level, probably). I can’t really stand these people after a while being friends with them. Maybe I’m too needy. By now I think it’s my fault these kinds of friendships never work with me, right?
I want someone to talk with, not just someone to talk to. I want to have discussions these people can’t give them to me. Which is my fault, I shouldn’t have expected a lot I think. Or you know, I should’ve just make friends with more opinionated people (problem solved, right?)
So I don’t understand how do I keep on attracting the likes of them and making friends with these types of people. It never worked and yet. These are the ones continuously getting into my lives, being a part of it, and end up separating with like this.
I’m tired. With myself. Or these people. I don’t know which one I hate the most. But again, it’s probably my fault for just engaging in yet another friendship like this one. These people, I call them walls. Because they don’t talk back. Or they do, but to stuffs they know about (and I mostly find nothing in my life in common with them sometimes or maybe have fallen out of whatever common interest we first shared with each other, that made us start a friendship).
I feel guilty ranting to them about stuffs cause they barely respond so in the end I don’t know whether they validate my thoughts or oppose me (and make me feel like I don’t know where they stand or even know who they are as a person). I often feel like I’m too much for them due to their lack of response. And these are all due to their quiet nature, I suppose that hinders them from giving unwanted opinion that could’ve hurt me (?) or they just have no take in it.
I think this is all my fault for not being able to work this out despite being in this situation for countless times. Maybe friendships aren’t for me, and I should be content, with talking to myself to fill my loneliness for the rest of my life.
4 comments
I’ve always been quiet and have had bad social anxiety. So much so that junior year of high school, I had zero friends. I’d sit alone at lunch every day, kind of in the corner to hide myself from others. Well, I started noticing another kid who did as well named nick. And I’ve had classes with him before, he was even more quiet than I was. So I started sitting with him.
At first it was like talking to a wall. He would nod or shake his head. If I was lucky I’d get yes or no answers. But he’d talk more and more with each day. I learned about his family and his dogs and what games he liked. He started making jokes and would start asking me questions on days were I was a bit sad or not talkative. He left the school soon after that, but I thought it was nice.
Hey, if you ever get lonely you can always talk to me. I’m usually lonely myself. My email is devinbelver@yahoo and I have a Kik that’s devinx7.
I’ve been seeing you post for a long while now. Stay strong okay? You seem like a great person and it would break me and many others here if we lost you
hey thanks. *taps on your back.
i don’t feel like im a great person. maybe decent would suffice to describe me. yeah, despite everything, my friends always says they’d break too if they lose me.
quiet people are great in person, right? sometimes they even carry a conversation enough to fill you up. and id feel surprised that they could actually say so much when i click with them.
i got close to one in secondary school by sitting next/in front of him during recesses cause he would often, always get an almost empty table to himself. i just thought if we hang out, i dont have to look hard to get a seat. 🙂 and we were good together. for the while we were friends. until he turned out to be a r*pe apologist and that’s just a dealbreaker for me.
-_-”
idk, but maybe I’ll hit you up, sometime. *shrugs unknowingly
thanks again for offering to talk with me. 🙂
I can barely do the friend thing myself.
well i, it’s not really a problem for me. i can probably make friends with anyone, except that now i dont feel as much need to drain myself from interactions as i used to.
now i just keep to myself, or the friends i already try to keep in touch with (less than 10 people :o)
being so cooped up, my social life is mostly limited to online chats, it’d been a while since i had a live conversation with a new person i dont even know if i still can have that friend-making chatter.