I don’t like the feeling that I’ve lost. I’m overweight and it’s not easy finding a method for me. Not interested in a failed attempt and excuse me if all I talk about is wanting death because I never thought I’d turn out like this. I look at my few immediate family members, with a small hole in my heart by not wanting to be here. My body aches, my head aches, I have to work, no close friend’s anymore; it hurts to look my mother in the face because I know she wants the best for me, success in all but I know I can’t give her my past dreams of a successful life, the life I was headed to before my auto injuries. My physical pain has held me back for ten years. I wish I could call a real psychic who will fill my life gaps for closer and a peaceful exit from this earth, along with a healed heart.