I simply cannot string together my thoughts anymore. I know part of it is a lack of sleep but no matter what I think it all leads back in a circle to one thing: just die. I can’t think straight. It all keeps leading back. My feelings are so built up I feel like im going to explode.
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Let it all out.
how? its just painful emptiness and i try not to use self destructive methods if i can help it, but nothing else seems to work
Do you need someone you can share your problems?
Same here, the suicidal thoughts are always there at the back of my mind, no matter what I do to distract myself
I know I can’t escape the inevitable!!
I had the best character ever made, but the beast-master was somehow the greater one, despite being the same level. Obviously, their other character were over-powered. We, too, could of managed as well, a more, infernal, attribute, but our characters were truly borne from the realm. The role was real, and pure. I beat their highest boss, in just a few tries. Within the party, we were actually now, the champion of the game. We were untouchable. Slow, fire-blast, slow, again, fire-blast, sleep, infernal. Peace. Alias, Southstorm, of the Tarune, Mage-Arsonist. The only way to beat this was, with, the impossible armor of, immunity to magic. This game is very much over, though. Or, was it.
Or, was it. One wonders, one really wonders.
Have you tried writing out what your reasons are for not ending it? I find I have to do that every few days, as my thinking inevitably loops back to: ‘I just want to stop’. When I take the time to really be aware of how I’m feeling and what my motivations are, it eases off a little. Once I acknowledge to myself that right now I’m more scared of death than I am of life (just about), and I’m not ready to give up on the things I want from life yet (no matter how impossible they seem), it provides a degree of clarity for a while.
My advice would be to try to take the time to honestly engage with the question ‘why aren’t I ending it’, and make a note of your responses. You may find acknowledging the reality of your fundamental motivations and the reasons you’re choosing to continue to live gives your mind a little distance for a while.
I believe you are right. That “little distance” is what keeps us typing and breathing and even, dare I imagine it, the space in which to heal some. The mind wants to heal and it usually will if given a chance.
Express yo’ self 🙂 like sing or shout, punch pillows if you are tired try drawing or writing, dancing in new ways (or just trying it fir first time, that’s okay!). Play an instrument, umm just engage in something that feels new and expressive. It can seem difficult but it’s possible and it’ll tire you out.
Me too. My brain is turning into mush. It’s not helping at all that I don’t sleep cery good and I’m basically living in solitary confinement. It’s been weeks since I had an actual conversation with someone. And I’ve bad maybe 3 or 4 in the last 6 months.
One can not grasp how truly unpopular and alone I am. My brain is suffering (Therefore, I am suffering, too)
Death can not come soon enough.
*had (not bad).